If you have an SO, who is more dominant?
We did this several times because Randy was really having trouble with whomever he was working with. I am really firm with the dogs and got them to do what I want and Randy...I'm not really sure what he is doing. When we are doing the exercises I'm concentrating on what I am doing and not really watching him. What was really funny was watching the instructer. I started out with Simon and then I had Gar and back to Simon, etc. Every time they turned back to us we had a different dog, BUT they didn't say anything. |
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I am the one who spends the most time with the dogs, but my husband, who is very lumberjack-like, can just stand up and the dogs will go belly up..  He doesn't raise his voice if he ever does correct the dogs, it's more of a look. Sometimes he growls at them...ok jk... but it seems like they are extemely intune with him, almost instinctually. Must be body language and confidence in the approach. I wish I had "it". |
| My dogs walk all over my husband.
It is a problem at times. Certain undesirable behaviors only come out when Larry is home. Like fighting, excessive barking,peeing. With me they are different & mostly well behaved dogs. There is no hope for Larry, he thinks yelling is the answer. It only escalates the behaviors, sigh. Short of asking Larry to move to a different home
There is no hope. "Can't teach an old human new tricks" sighing again. |
Could be interesting to be a fly on the wall on your training class. 
Dogs are more in tune with our body language than with our spoken commands. It could be that your dogs interpret Randy’s behaviour and it tells them something different from his words. Is he perhaps more animated than you are with your dogs? Also, does Randy in general play with the dogs more than you do? Perhaps they think they can get some nice ball throwing action from their playmate Randy, but not from you? I’m not a fan of leadership theories and don’t think that even this would spell leadership problems for Randy. I just think that maybe the dogs are used to doing things with Randy that they’re not anticipating from you and because of that concentrate on school work better when they’re training with you? Good luck for your Randy in learning to train the dogs! I’m sure he can master the art once he knows what exactly it is that makes the dogs misinterpret his wishes. |
| I'm much more of an 'in charge' person with the dogs (and not coincidentally, when our kids were young) than my husband, although he actually spends more time walking and feeding the dogs than I do since his is the flexible schedule and I have a long commute. This is made worse because of stress my husband is under--we both are, but at the moment, his is worse than mine, most of the time.
At first I thought it was just my ego that the dogs (well, really just Sophie and Sherman---Archie is a mature adult and always well behaved) were quieter, more settled, better behaved when I walked in, but my son's girlfriend noticed and remarked upon it, as well. My kids are like, duh. No joke, Mom. |
| Our's listen quite well to both of us. It does help that we both have a dog training background - though Todd's is quite rusty as far as actually going to classes in the last 20 years!
We met at dog training classes  , and both our whole families were very involved with dogs and training. When we were both in beginner classes with our new dogs way back - we were both 21 yrs old - we had a mock trial for graduation, with our 2 beginner classes combined. I placed 1st, Todd got 2nd (and we hadn't started dating yet... )
I am more competitive than Todd. He is content to be at home or out hunting (labs and coonhound) and have well behaved dogs. But, we do have the same goals and expectations of the dogs as far as behavior. If Todd and I were to each take any of our dogs to class together, I think they would perform fairly similar with either of us. The ones that are bonded to one of more than the other would have some variation, but still would listen and work for us. Having met Randy, I can see your problem, Pam....you two would have a totally different style and response from the dogs. |
| You know, I took a puppy back when he was about a year old because of just this problem. Wife, consistent, firm. Dogs listened. Husband doormat. A very sweet doormat, don't get me wrong. Basically the wife had certain expectations from the dogs (good behavior ) and the husband treated them exclusively like playmates and resented the wife trying to interfer with their right to be dogs (which evidently included digging up her newly planted flower beds - their other dog is a wheaton terrier - and chewing holes in the wall).
After months of giving her ideas on how to get the dog to behave - ideas which she would carefully utilize and he would resent - it finally dawned on me that I was trying to play dog trainer and they needed a good marriage counsellor (not my forte ) I got so tired of it I convinced her to just give me the dog back (and mentioned therapy...  )
Now, that case is extreme, but I'll tell you, when I got that dog back his brain was a little fried by the inconsistency and he's still a lot less secure than his siblings - like a big, whiny baby, frankly - which is why I decided he's home to stay. (Also made me pretty wary of pet homes) As for the natural "alpha" theory - good observations. But it can be learned (says the former floormat ). It is an issue of confidence.
And, Wendy, I growl at my dogs. No kidding  Some times I play growl, some times not so playful. Wouldn't try it with just any dog though.
Kristine |
I'm the disciplinarian here. Tim doesn't even really try. Bailey's not the best trained dog ever, but he will obey commands for me after a brief pause to give me teenage attitude -  jeez mom why do I have to lay down. Unless there's a cookie involved, in which case the responses are instant! |
| Barney has a different relationship with me than Cam. Cam is (obviously) bigger and has a deeper, louder voice. So his carries more authority than mine.
I tend to not want to upset the dog, whereas Cam wants whatever 'bad' behavior to stop immediately. It's led to some arguments between us, since it's a different philosophy. But, Barney will let me pet him while he's eating without a problem, whereas he'll pee if Cam touches him while he's eating. Things like that. |
| I growled at Sophie. As I have mentioned, she feels she is born to rule the entire universe, and was willing to start with my household. Hubby is a little more laid back and felt flattered that she would lay on top of him and growl at me if I approached. I was not amused and refused to put up with it. One night when she about 5 or 6 months old, she was on the couch, uninvited. I told her down, a command she knew and understood perfectly. She ignored me and growled, slightly. I growled---well, roared is more like it. It was spontaneous--definitely not planned. Every single head in the room, canine and human alike, snapped to focus full attention on me. Sophie immediately got off the couch and has never challenged me since, even when I could see she really, really would like to. As a matter of fact, she's very, very careful to show better manners than I expect: she makes a big show of letting me go first through doors. |
| My SO is an utter doormat when it comes to Fitzwilliam! Fitzwilliam barks at him - barks right in his face, chews on his shoes, tugs at his clothes, gets crazy hyper around him, all housebreaking flies out the window when he gets home --- and all my SO will do, is say, in a tiny voice, "No barky Fitzy". **SIGH**
My SO is an RCMP officer - according to the puppy kindergarten trainer, it can be typical of cops to be total doormats when it comes to puppies. Who knew?  |
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