Help! I need objective opinions . . .
She is in diapers 24/7 now. And although it's not fun to continually clean her, it's still better than continually cleaning floors or rugs. We truly believe that she just does not "feel" when she's going. When we take her outside, she doesn't squat to poop any more. She just walks and it comes out while she's walking. She tries to squat to pee still, but she's so wobbly. She can not get herself standing from a lying down position. She doesn't "sit" any more, not in the true sense of the word. If she pushes herself up from lying down, her legs are either straight out to one side (together on one side), or straight out in front of her so that her back paws stick out between her front legs. If no one is around to pick her up right away, she'll eventually just lay back down. Once she's up, she's okay - but just okay. She walks around outside but you can see her drag her back feet, or her right leg sorts swings out to the side. She'll stand forever in one spot (I think even though she can "walk" it hurts her), until we prod her along. Once in the house and re-diapered, she'll stand in one spot forever again. I think she knows that once she's down, she gets stuck. Dale works out of an office in our home, so you would think it wouldn't be too much trouble to keep an extra eye on her. But he's getting tired of cleaning her up, and cleaning up the floors/rugs that she messes on before he can get another diaper on her. So this is my dilemma - what do I do? Dale has made it clear that he thinks her time has come. And if everything else pointed in that direction, I would think so too. But she's such a contradiction in terms!! On the one hand, she's 99% lame, incontinent, nearly deaf. On the other hand, her eyes are still bright, her attitude is still in-your-face, and her appetite hasn't decreased one iota. I swore when we put our first sheepie down that I would never prolong that decision for another dog. But is that what I'm doing now? Am I prolonging the decision because I'm being selfish and don't want to lose her or because she truly is not ready? To my mind, it's a little of both. But is it more me being selfish? I can't look at this objectively. She's had a good, long life and I treasure every second we've had with her. It will break my heart (and my husband's and kids') into a million pieces no matter when we lose her. I just know that my husband thinks it's time, and I can't make the decision. Help! Help me see things more clearly. |
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Boy this is a tough one.  Drezzie has had a very long life and obviously she is very loved. Only you can tell if the time is right or not to let her go. I think you know the answer, you just want someone to tell you what to do. I understand, this is just so emotional. I would feel the same way. If Drezzie is is constant pain and is messing herself all the time I would think the time is very close if not already here.What ever you choose I know you will do what is right for Drezzie. I am so sorry that you even have to think about this. It breaks my heart. But realistically life does come to an end for all of us. And sometime it might be better to help her go peacfully as opposed to letting her becoming increasingly more uncomfortable. I will say a pray for Drezzie and your family. |
| It is so hard to give you an opinion on this. Since we all have been there and no matter what we do, we will still second guess whether the decision was made to soon...or not soon enough.
I know when Millie, my Beardie, fell and crushed her back, she was 14 years old and had been on meds, Rymdyl (sp) for the past 8 years. She always had problems getting up, but on that fateful Saturday...she didn't get up... the vet, who sent us home with steroids for the swelling, told us if there would be an improvement it would be in the next 2 days. I remember actually praying that she die in her sleep so I wouldn't have to make "the decision". (Is that terrible????) Millie, like Drez, had failing sight and hearing... but there was still a spark in her eyes, a great appitite...a love for life. Before we "gave her up to rainbow bridge", she had a great morning, laying the in sun with Pearl...feasting on cupcakes with chocolate icing (she ate 4 of them) hand fed to her by mom and dad, drinking ice cold milk and accepting love from everyone who came to visit her for the last time. Then we took our precious, sweet "puppy" and we let her go. We held her and cried... As soon as it was all over, my husband, with tears in his eyes, said..."we should have not done this yet".... It was his way of saying to me...."I miss her already". But I knew she was too good of a dog for her to have to lie in one place until I could get to her to move her. She would never be able to run in the yard with Pearl, or try to get away from the thunder which she was always afraid of or chase after squirrels and rabbits....... If it was up to me i would have done whatever just to see her smiling sweet face forever...but I didn't want her to settle for a half life. I tell you this because although I knew in my head what I did, I did at the right time, for the right reasons --my heart had all the doubts, questions,indicisions.... Drez sounds like my Millie....the dog of my life...I will never have that again..and I miss it. Again...whatever you decide...will be the right one because you will be making it with love and with Drez's best interest in your heart. |
| No one can make this decision for you. You have to let Drezzie tell you, but it is your responsibility to listen.
My thoughts are with you. I cannot imagine the weight on your shoulders. |
| Im sorry Chris...
I think that the others have said it quite elequently. As hard as it is, not one of us can make an objective decision regarding drezzie or any of our own... i like the listen to drezzie....she will tell you. i do believe that. Bless you for going thru this....i know its tough... super hugs! |
| Oh Chris............. I am so sorry. I am crying so hard I can barely see to type. With Tasker not so far behind Drezzie in age it really hits home. What a painful and difficult place for you to be
The most difficult decision you will ever make is when it's "time", your heart knows even if your head can't accept it. It doesn't sound like life is really very good for her right now, the question is do you think she has enough "good" moments to out weigh the bad or has the bad taken control? Dogs live in a moment and if the bad moments are far greater than the good Drezzie will be forever grateful to you for easing her across the bridge. I am sorry. |
| I can't make your decision, just tell you how we decide:
This is for old or ill dogs, not those injured and who could recover.....(thinking of Jasper): When the dog has lost their dignity is paramount. When a dog can no longer get up on their own, is obviously uncomfortable, can do little more than stand (that is it can not walk, sit or lie down without discomfort). When the dog has no joy. Eating is rarely an indication, few of mine have stopped eating......I can think of two, both cancer dogs. We have to weigh our need for the dog and the dog's needs: what is best for the dog, not what is best for us. The are devoted to us until the end....and we to them. susan |
| Chris,
I am so sorry you have to make this decision. 
What you need to consider, is her quality of life. You may also want to put yourself in Drezzie's shoes.... Think about if you would want to live like that. Ultimately the decision is yours to make. It stinks that you have to make the decision!!  I wish they could be healthy and live forever.
Bigs hugs to you, Dale and Drezzie |
| Thanks for the comments. I am just having a REALLY hard time with this.
Wendy, I am assuming she's in at least discomfort, if not downright pain. But she never cries or lets on, so I can't be sure. Maybe she's just numb to the point where she doesn't feel ANYTHING. Val, thanks for your story. It does mirror Drez in many ways. She's ready in some areas, and not ready in others. And it's those "not ready in others" part that I'm having a hard time coming to grips with. You're right - no matter when we lose her, there will be questions and doubts. jcc9797 (sorry, don't know your name), I am trying to "listen" to her. Again, her eyes are still bright, she still tries to play swat at us, barks like she wants to play, acts like mealtime it the best times of the day. Is that a dog that's telling me her time has come? Or am I misreading her? Darcy, I know no one can objectively make the decision for me. I just need to hear others' opinions so that maybe I can look at it all differently. I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!! |
| Again, thanks for the comments. I NEED to hear all this because some of it, although I KNOW, I'm ignoring.
Ginny, I know what you mean. Every time I read about someone losing their baby because of age or infirmity, I cry because it just hits too close to home. I think for me, though, it's the reverse of what you said. My head knows the answer, it's just my heart that can't accept it. Susan, you're right, of course. But again, I'm having trouble recognizing things. Has she indeed lost her dignity? Wouldn't she be sad if she has? She's not sad at all - she's still my happy girl. Her mobility is severely limited, but it doesn't seem to bother her. Unless I'm just turning a blind eye to it. Elissa, I've tried looking at her quality of life. Again, her mobility is gone but is her life truly bad? Keep the comments coming. They are helping, but not in the direction I wish they could take. |
| I've got nothing to add but lots of hugs. I dread making that decision myself. Truthfully, I told myself I would never prolong anything after seeing my SIL's dog suffer but only those outside of the family saw it. She saw him as only doing well, BUT I can't imagine what she went through doing what she felt was best. For all we know, she made the right decision and all happened the way it should have. I agree you know your dog better than anyone else.
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| I can't offer any advice.
I have always felt when the dog got to a point where i really was questioning wheter it was time - it was probably because I wasn't ready to let go, not them. |
| Oh Chris, my heart is just breaking in two. I don't know if I can even see to type. I feel such a close connection to Drez, I know I cannot truly be objective.
But, what the others have said is true. You know her best. I will tell you that when I had to make the decision for my mixed breed girl, Pumpkin, three years ago, it was awful. Like your Drez, she was fourteen and still bright eyed and happy. But, she couldn't move at all on her own, was completely incontinent and in pretty much constant pain. So, I made the toughest decision of my life, and I let my sweet girl go. I held her and sobbed quietly until she was gone. Then, I balled like a baby.
Even though my head knew it was the right thing to do, I still regretted the decision. My heart broke and I told myself I should have waited, it wasn't time. I could've done more. You know? It was my emotions taking over and being irrational, I realize that now. But, at the time, I really beat myself up about it. I hope you won't do that to yourself. I know now that Pumpkin would not have wanted that. She loved me and trusted me and everything she did was to make me happy. I am so sorry you're face with this decision. |
| Chris, as one who also had to make the decision with our 14 yr. old Maggie McGee IV, I can truly sympathize with you. In her case, her eyes were still bright but she'd stopped eating. We had to help her to the yard and hold her while she pottied. She was old and we knew she wasn't getting better and we knew we made the right decision to set her free.
My friends also lost their OES just a few weeks after we lost Maggie. This boy wasn't quite as old as Maggie but there was no chance that he would recover. They, too, made the decision to help their sweet boy to the Bridge. In a conversation just a few weeks ago, my friend admitted the one thing they did wrong was to wait too long to let him go. His quality of life ended some time before he passed and extending his presence on earth was for them, not their dog. Whatever you decide to do, you know you'll have the full support of this forum. Most of us have been there or will be sooner or later. It's the hardest part of having a pet but something we accept when we agree to be their caretakers. Hugs,
Nita |
| Chris, everyone has given you really good advise. Please give Drez a tender hug for me. You all are in my thoughts.
Strength, |
| Oh, Chris! I didn't want this post to be about this (but I knew it would ). I don't have any advice, since I haven't had to personally go through this yet, but I'm thinking of you and Drez and I know that you'll make the right decision. |
| Your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm sorry you are having to think about making the decision to let your old gal go. I wish I could help you make that decision...but all I have to offer is my experience that I have had with two of my beloved babies.
Max was my Cocker Spaniel who lived to be 18 years old. We made the decision to put him down a year and a half ago. He was almost completely blind...totally deaf and suffered with hip dysplacia for many years. Rimadyl helped control his pain. Howerver...for about the last year of is life...he was very uncomfortable. He started to have peeing accident's daily in the house. He would get lost out in the back yard at night....we had to usually go out and guide him back in. He would pace and pace around the house at night to avoid laying down. When he finally decided to lay down...he would just plop to the floor. Getting up was a job in it's self. He no longer played with his toys. Sometimes in the middle of the night I would look over at him only to find him stareing off into space. He was covered in old age moles that would bleed and were very painful for him. We had many, many of them surgically removed....but the older he got...the more the moles would grow. Eventually, becasuse of his age, he could no longer handle the anestisia, so we had to just let them grow. For that last year of his life...my husband and I would go back and forth about when to let him go....but our hearts got in the way and we just couldn't make the decision. We finally decided to let him go with at least a little bit of dignity. It was so heartbreaking for us. After his death, we felt so bad that we kept him alive for too long just because "we" couldn't bear to let him go. He never lost his appetitie and could out eat Andy and my sheepie Roxy under the table until the day he died. We vowed after that, that we would never let another one of our babies live if they we suffering or it they were not enjoying life any longer.
Ten months after that...our ten and a half year old Sheepie, Roxy came down with a strange illness. Within three weeks...her health had declined so much that she no longer enjoyed her car rides...walks...toys and because of her dropped jaw and not being able to chew her food....was hand fed until she just didn't want to eat anymore. She basically would lay down because standing and eventually moving at all was too painful for her. Again we were faced with the decision to let yet another one of our beloved pets go. The morning we sent Roxy to the bridge...I got that "it's time" look from her. She had started to cough up foam and that is when I knew deep down that the day we had again been dreading was here. As hard as it was saying goodbye to her...I was so relieved that she wouldn't suffer any longer. As someone posted earlier about thier sheepie...Roxy was my "heart dog" and when she died...she took a piece of my heart with her. We now have our only child Andy, who will be 14 in 3 months. I'm afraid we will be making that decision again with in the next year...2 at the most. I didn't mean to write a novel.  and I don't mean to scare you...but maybe hearing a few of the stories from us here on the forum that have walked down this very road, might help you in some small way with your decision.
to you!!!
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| I'm so sorry you're going through this... and I know what a horribly difficult decision it is to make.
I understand your need for opinions, to have help with the decision, different perspectives on the quality of life for sweet Dresden... but only you can make that final decision. I think gut instinct says a lot. |
| Hi Chris, I have not posted a reply in a long time but I do review the board on a regular basis. How do you know when it is time?............you just do. Your dog will tell you......... and you will know it in your heart. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Take good care. Jack |
| It has to be the hardest and saddest thing in the world when the front half is good, but the back half is weak.
I think your post answers your own question. You know that the time is very near, but not quite that time.
When Joan and I made that horrible horrible decision, the next day our guy rallied a bit and that caused us to rethink again and again and again. In the end, we know we made the right decision, as hard as it was. Here is the thread about Jake When is enough enough?. Or on the forum: http://forum.oes.org/viewtopic.php?t=27 It was about a year after I started that thread when we felt it was enough. |
| Chris, after "chasing" Miss Drez around the yard last summer, I believe with all my heart that she will tell you when it's time. That's the day you take off work, do not pass go, and do what she tells you.
That's also the day that I walk around with sunglasses on to hide the tears. 
Jil |
| Thanks so much, everyone. I know no one can make the decision for us, but I just need to hear everyone's thoughts.
Jo, thanks for the hugs and support. But as I'm finding out, SAYING you won't prolong the decision and actually DOING it are two very different things. I hope you can find the strength that I am so far lacking. Kerry, I agree - it's myself I'm fighting with. I'm trying to be objective, but it's so hard. Tammy, our stories are very close with Pumpkin and Drez. I'm SURE I will regret the decision, at least at first. If only I could get my head and my heart to agree. Nita, I wish Drez WOULD give me some sort of sign, like not eating. But she's not - she's putting this whole thing on ME. Ugh. Helen, Drez will get extra hugs tonight, rest assured. Steph, thanks for the support. I'm hoping I make the right decision. tdelanoit, no apologies needed for the long post. This is just what I need to hear. I have been in this position before, with our first sheepie. We definitely put the decision off too long for him, in retrospect. We now think we could have made the decision almost a full year before we did. And I told myself I wouldn't do that again. So why am I? Stacey, thanks for the vote of confidence. Wish I felt it in my gut. Jack, I wish I knew when it was time. I'm trying to find that out by posting here. Maybe I already know, but don't want to acknowledge it yet. Ron, you're right. It's horrible when the front half is good and the back half is bad. And you're also right that my posts are answering my question. As for good days and bad days, we still find that with her. What I have to determine is if the bad days outweigh the good days. I think I'm getting closer to knowing (or acknowledging that I know) the answer, but I just don't want to do this! Jil, my pal - what can I say? I truly wish she WOULD tell me, it would make this a whole lot easier. My heartfelt thanks to everyone who is helping me through this. It is helping more than you know. |
| I don't know what to tell you either. I lost 2 last year. Winston to the poison dog food from China (tried to save him @ 41/2...no choice there) and my 10 yr old Std Poodle Cassie. She developed bone cancer and while she always seemed to enjoy being there, you could see the pain in her eyes and the lack of mobility made the decision for me. She will tell you. I can't see what I am typing for the tears. |
| I sent you a PM, Chris. |
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Stephanie & Winston |
| I'm so sorry you're facing this decision. This is the hardest decision we have to make for our furry companions. Follow your heart Chris... when the time is right, you'll make the best decision for Drez.
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| Oh my gosh! I wish you could feel all of the support I'd like to give you!
You are in the dreaded position many of us have faced and will again face. I believe a few things: You will know by your intuition, gut or instincts when the time is. That is what's starting to happen now. You must be sure so you don't have regrets of would have should have later. She will give you a sign but it may be different than what you're expecting. Maybe your husband could have some help in the meantime. What he's enduring is very difficult and exhausting. The fact he's thinking it's time leads me to believe it's very close. She is probably close but like Ron said just not yet. I think our beloved sheepies hold on for us. What we did with Katrina was have several heart to heart talks with her. I let her know many things including that I would be OK when she left, that she was one of the best things that ever happened to me and our family, how I didn't want to see her in pain and it was OK for her to go with GOD that we would be OK even though we would miss her and didn't want that to happen that we didn't want to see her suffer. On several of these talks I told her it was OK to let go that we would be sad but we would be OK. She did indeed give us a sign of barking the entire night. I also had taken a picture of her and looking back at it I see how ill she was, what I couldn't see at the time. Because I had all those talks with her and she gave me a sign I know to this day she left at the time she was supposed to and I have no regrets. Maybe Drezzie needs closure with your entire family too since she's been a close member. These are only my views and opinions, take them for what they're worth. I wish you the clarity and wisdom you will need and the strength and comfort and love of all those that care you are going through this. And Bless dear Drezzie and you and your family! |
| Chris-- how I hate that you, Drezzie and your family are going through this. First - let me offer hugs and prayers for strength.
Our first sheepie- Sassy- was 10 when we had to make the tough decision to let her go. She was fine one day-- and then the next- she was walking sideways and seemed off. First dx was an inner ear infection that was treated with antibiotics. We knew after two days it was more serious. We went back to the Vet after day three-- and tests confirmed a stroke. We left the office with no hope she would get any better. And still, we both took off work and spent the next two days laying with her-- petting her -- begging her to rally and get well. Like Drezzie there was no indication that she was in pain. And I believe she was strong for US--- She was content-- and we were making her settle for that. Her eyes sparkled-- because she was with us , and she knew she was loved. When our niece came to see her , and Sassy didn't try to get up ( they were "best friends") -- we knew we had been selfish to make her try to get better. She was content, but not willing to rally. She was ready to go. The next day- we let her go. She had told us days before- we just didn't want to hear her yet. When Max was injured--- the mood was different. He was fighting to get better every step of the way! He was not ready to give in, and we could tell that from day one. The sparkle in his eye wasn't just love for us-- it was LOVE FOR LIFE! I'm sorry I have rambled so long. This stirs such emotion. Please know that whatever decision you make-- we support you. Drezzie is blessed to have a Mom who cares to do the right thing-- at the right time. Whenever that may be. |
| Chris I hardly ever respond to posts of this nature, or in the Rainbow Bridge thread.....Not because I don't care, but because I can barely stand to read through the pain and sorrow..as my eyes are full of tears...
I am a stickler for planning and trying to think objectively when I need to be. Reading through all the posts I was wondering if it would help for you to remove yourself from the decision...Something like the following: Pick a date..., quite a bit in the future, and plan for it to happen. Make the time before very special for your and your girl, making sure that you do all the things you like with her, and tell her all the things she likes to hear...Feed her the special things she likes....drag it all out.....Get prepared. For the date is set and marked on the calendar..More like a special occasion..... Then, the day right before, you can decide to change it....and move it further in the future....or not.. ..If you pick another date, treat it the same as this last one you just did...If you don't, well, you know you gave her all you could, and she was spoiled to the end..... Maybe going through the motions will help you see things more clearly..either way.... My heart breaks for you....as I have been following Drezzie's antics since I first joined this forum....and noted how they have slowed down lately. She so reminds me of the Queen Mother ...regal and adorable in her senior years.... |
| I wrestled with the decision of whether to post my dilemma here or not. I am so glad I did because you all can't know how much it's helped me to hear everyone's thoughts and advice. I treasure everyone's friendship.
Wendy, I would love to get a sign from Drez. Right now, it's what I'm living for so that I don't have to feel so guilty. Jill, back 'atcha. Stephanie and AddieLuv, thanks for the hugs. I need them all! Jaci - I'm trying to follow my head because it knows better than my heart. My heart would never let her go. LVSL, I had another friend suggest I have a talk with Drez and tell her it's okay to go. She feels that Drez is hanging on for us and that she needs us to release her. I will try. Lori, I wish Drez COULD rally back from this, but I know that's not in the cards. I don't feel like Drez is the one blessed to have us, but that we are blessed to have her. Nicole, by nature I'm a big planner, too, but something would hold me back from planning this. Maybe because it's too definitive. Thank you, thank you, thank you all for your kind and sympathetic words and suggestions. I am so glad for this forum and all you wonderful people and friends. |
| Chris it is always such a hard decision. I have no answers for you, just keep watching her eyes and the spirit & glow that radiates from there.
You will know when it is time, the eyes are the passage to the soul and they have that look when it is time. Hugs to you and drez, we will be thinking of you and your precious golden girl. Sucks getting old, sometimes you just wish they would go to sleep and never wake up, I only ever had one that did that the rest was making that decision and then after the thoughts that followed, guilt, should I of done it or shouldn't I, maybe a little more time etc etc. But looking back it was the right time after the sadness and grief subsided a little. Love to you both  |
| I agree with Lisa. When I had to put Cassie to sleep because of the cancer, she had this grey look of pain in her eyes. That was my deciding factor. You will be in my prayers. |
| I know how easy it is to feel guilty for the feelings that you have. Slowing down is one thing, but only will know when the brightness has left Drez. If you're struggling with it, than maybe it's not time just yet.
I know how hard it is watching your girl age. I hope you always will find comfort with the fact that you have shown her so much love as she has you. Lots of extra hugs. |
| Chris, I have no advice because I haven't been where you are. But my heart is breaking for you and Drezzie. Big hugs to you both |
| Chris,
Just catching up on the forum and now have tears. I know you will do the right thing for Drezzie. I am crying because I remember my little one, Princess. She was 18 yrs old. Blind, incontinent, and deaf. One day I heard horns blaring and raced out to find her wandering in the middle of the road with no idea how or where her home and yard were. She had gotten out through a hole in the fence. It was so hard and it will be hard on you as well when it is time. But you will know and you will cry but then you will remember the good times and her smile. And you will miss her but know that she is in a good place with no pain or suffering ever again. With all my heart and prayers for you and Drezzie, Wyn |
| I was away and just now found this thread. I have such special fondness for Drezzie because she looks and acts so much like Chumley. I am so very sorry to hear that your dear girl is getting close to the end of her run.
VerveUp wrote: If you're struggling with it, than maybe it's not time just yet.
I tend to agree. You will know when it is time and if you don't know, maybe it isn't time. But on the other hand, it may actually be a favor to her to let her go before the light in her beautiful twinkling eyes is completely extinguished. It is such a painfully difficult, personal decision. You have my utmost sympathy. In the meantime, I cover Chum's sleeping areas with absorbant, washable/reusable "pooch pads". I find them easier to clean than using the diaper for her. They might be of help: http://www.petsmart.com/product/index.j ... Id=2752867 My heart goes out to you and Miss Drez. |
| Chris and Drez and family,
my heart goes out to you. This the worst time we face as pet owners.
You know Drezzie best, and I know you will make the decision that is best for you all. There is no one answer that fits all situations. I have a 14 year old too, so I know I will be in the same boat as you in the not too distant future. Call me a wimp, but I can only hope she (Macy) dies peacefully in her sleep. |
| Well, we've had a bit of an eventful day so far.
We got a few inches of snow overnight, a few more this morning, and now it's freezing raining. Although Drez loves the cold and snow, it's proving difficult for her to walk in, so we're depending even more on the diapers today. She had her usual mess from overnight this morning. Our new morning ritual is to hoist her back half in the shower to wash her off first thing. Then after she had her morning biscuits, another mess. Another wash job. A few hours later, still another mess. And still another wash job. When she came in from the third mess, she threw up. There was a foreign object in it and an interesting story behind it. Last Saturday we bought a small package of 6 cinnamon buns from a local farmer's market. We had 2 of them as dessert after lunch, put plastic on the rest of them and set them on the counter, far enough back. Or so we thought. Sunday after church we came home and found the black styrofoam container face down on the floor - no buns and no plastic wrap. No question as to where they went because Drez was hiding. What we can't figure out is how the heck she reached them! Her hips are all but gone, she can't walk well on her own, but when that hunger instinct kicks in, all bets are off! All we can figure is that they were close enough to the edge that she was just able to reach a bit of it, enough to pull it down. We knew we'd be paying for her rampage with extra poops, but I couldn't figure out why I hadn't seen the plastic. This morning, I saw it - it finally came up when she threw up. Maybe now her tummy will settle down a bit and we won't have as many poopy diapers.
So my question is - how can a dog who is 99% lame and nearly deaf still pull off a stunt like this? I keep looking in those eyes, but the answer is just not there. I defy anyone to look into these eyes and tell me they see where they are telling me it's time for her to go. 
Maybe I'm looking a little too unobjectively, but I just don't see it. I guess it's happened that bodies wear out before spirit (humans as well as animals), and I keep asking myself - is this the case with her? If yes, do I think she truly wants to stick around even though she can't manuever? Or does she feel trapped by what she can't do any more? All I know is the more messes she has, the more my husband is leaning towards the final vet visit. Sometimes I can't argue with him - it does get trying. So, we'll keep an extra eye on her this week-end. Her back legs do seem to be getting weaker every day, especially her left one. My heart is heavy, but I am beginning to feel that the answer is there - I just need to take the final step towards it. Thank you to everyone who has been so kind to respond to help me think clearly. It has definitely helped. I just don't like the answer. |
| (((HUGS))))
No one can argue that the old girl still has a spark in her!!! (TASKER, the consumate counter surfer, says way to go DREZZIE) |
| Awww Chris. |
| That face is too precious
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| I am sorry that you are all going through this. I was in exactly your position just over 2 years ago. My beloved Merlin, my first OES and the first dog who was mine, gradually lost the use of his hind quarters due to compressed vertebrae. He had already survived the removal of a cancerous tumor--twice. and at 13, it was hard to know what to do. Against a back drop of all of this, both my mother and my father were dying. I lost my parents within 10 weeks of each other--and my dog was failing. We got him a doggie sling and even a wheel chair, which helped for a few months, but finally the chair was too much of a struggle for him, so we moved him about. At first, I was so grief stricken over my parents that I couldn't face losing my beloved Merlin as well. I was sure my husband was merely humoring me--he was home more than I and was responsible for more of the messes because of his schedule. It was a constant struggle to keep Merlin clean and to make sure he didnt' get any skin infections. I wasn't sure we were dong the right thing, and thought it might be time to say goodbye to my wonderful friend. It turns out, it was my husband who couldn't say goodbye.
The vet assured us that Merlin was in no pain and that as long as he was eating and drinking, we shouldn't worry. She predicted he wouldn't last more than a month in April 2005. That look they say you see, when you know it is time never was in Merlin's eyes. He always loved to be with us, although he slept more and more towards the end. He had been sleeping in the livingroom the night he died, when he woke, barked to join the rest of us in the family room. My son helped him to come in with us. He died Jan 3, 2006, while I was petting him, and gently brushing him. I am convinced that he stayed to see me through my grief, and also to make it through the holidays, which he loved. He got to see the kids who were away one last time before he left us. I honestly don't know if I did the right thing. It was such a terrible time for me, it is impossible for me to say. But I wanted you to know that I understand, and that Drezzie still looks happy. Enoy her. If you need to help her cross, I think you will know. |
| Drez is such a beautiful girl. She looks like a puppy in that picture. |
| Chris, I think Drezzie wants to create a few more memories for you to smile about before she moves on. Hug her, kiss her, and tell her how much you love her while you still have the chance too. When she is ready she will let you know. Take good care. Jack |
| She looks beautiful. |
That stinker! When there's a will, there's a way  Drezzie reminds me of Glacier. She's not to the end point but at 10+ she's an old lady Pyr. Yet, if there's a morsel to be stolen, she's right on top of it.
susan |
| She is beautiful! I am sorry you are faced with this decision , it is so hard to say good bye, hopefully with the plastic bag thru her system and the contents digested maybe things will slow down and you won't have to make this decision. My thoughts are with you and drezzie |
| I can't see it either...spark is still there. |
| I have never met Drezzie...but I also can still see joy in her eyes....IMO.....you have time to love her more...... |
| She still has that sparkle in her eyes, hopefully the potty problem wont be as bad now she has chucked up the plastic.
Amazing Miss Drez is, with all her old age problems she can still counter surf, where there is a will there is a way to end up in her mouth
Gotta Luv the Drez and her determination when it comes to FOOD 
Chris it is a hard decision, some days you think maybe today, other days they bounce back and seem to have more spring in them. Your the only one that knows when it is time. Coping with potties and washing her every morning and the bowel incontinence is hard, people say how much work and time puppies are, but they forget the other end of the spectrum with our darling golden oldies and the work and care they need as they enter there golden years. What-ever you decide, how long etc just know Drez has had years of devotion & unconditional love by you and your family and given a lot back also. We are all here to make this journey with you and drez when you think the time is coming |
| Chris,
I am sooo sorry you are all going through this. I have no words of wisdom, I can only send our love. You WILL know when it is time. Just know that we are all here for you. I have not had to make this decision with a sheepie, but with one of my Aussies. It will be a hard decision to make, but once again you will know. |
| Chris,
It's always hard to say goodbye. I was told the best gift we can give a pet is to let them go. Relieving their physical pain with our emotional pain. It doesn't matter when the time comes, it matters on how we spend our time with them. It sounds like Drezzie's had a great life, and you should be proud of that. She looks like such a wonderful dog. You'll remeber the good times. Our hearts and blessings go out to you and your "pack". |
| I don't know what to say, but we love you! |
| Chris, my heart is breaking for you . I looked into Drezzie's eyes and saw so much love there, love for you, Dale, and the kids. I saw that same look in Beau's eyes, when it dulled I knew his time was at an end. I wish I had some magic words to make it better, but whatever you decide it is the right decision. We will all help you through this |
| Chris, I was crying when I read this, then saw the pic of Drezzie and burst out laughing. I see the spunk and sparkle in her eyes. No matter what decision you make, we're here for you. Hugs and kisses to you, Dale and Drezzie. |
| Thanks again, everyone. You have no idea how much everyone's thoughts and support has meant. It has helped me look at things differently, maybe more clearly.
Yesterday was a busy one for us, so Drez was in the same position for about 4 hours. Is that any way for her to live? I know she would have rather been up and in the middle of everything with us, but she just couldn't. Although the sparkle isn't totally gone from her eyes, they were sad yesterday. I'm trying to look at things more objectively. It's only 9:30 and already she's had 2 messes this morning. We can't figure out how she can go so much when she doesn't eat any more than she ever did (unless she gets a treat for herself like she did last week!). Her muscle tone is going, her stability even when she's up is weakening. I really don't want to let it get to the point where she can't stand at all. We did that with our first sheepie and I regret it to this day, 14 years later. We owe it to her, for all the love, devotion and entertainment she's given us over these years, to let her pass with at least a little bit of dignity. Keep us in your thoughts. I'm beginning to realize that it can't be much longer, for either her sake ours. |
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| Chris...you are in our thoughts and prayers. I can't answer this thread without crying. Just know she has lived a full and happy life...you have given her all the love and care possible. She has lived her life the way a dog should...as a friend.
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| Chris -- you have my heartfelt sympathy for this bittersweet decision. I will always remember Drezzie's sparkling, playful, impish personality and her gorgeous eyes and face. She is a dear and you are her angel to help her pass with dignity and love. Be strong! |
| I know where you're at, Chris. My thoughts and support are with you. If you just need to vent, my offer still stands. |
| to all of you! to Drezzie.
Strength, |
| Love to you and Drezzie, we will be keeping all of you close to our hearts and know we are all here for you both when the time comes. |
|
| I'm thinking of you and Drezzie, Chris. |
| Hi Chris,
More than any other dog on this forum Miss Drezzie reminds me of Shaggy. It tugs so deeply at my heartstrings that you are going through this. I'll tell you my story as others have shared theirs and perhaps you will find something in it to help make your decision whatever that may be. For six months Shaggy had been going downhill and I questioned myself over and over, if I was being selfish and prolonging making the choice of calling the vet. I arrived home one day to find her in a crumbled heap on the bottom of the stairs unable to get up. Somehow she had pushed the babygate and tumbled down. Crying I picked her up and called the vet. I carried her from the car to the vet's office and lay her down on the carpet while checking in with the receptionist. Turning around I see Shaggy get up, walk around and greet everyone. The vet and I agreed it was not her time and I brought her home. This somehow caused me more anquish as I started questioning what if I made the wrong choice? I had thought she was ready and she got up...all that second quessing and the "what ifs". Would I ever really know? A few months later - she couldn't get up. I waited 24 hours to see if another miracle would occur. This time it didn't happen. The next morning was a beautiful sunny day after a period of heavy rains. I just knew. I brought Shaggy outside on a blanket and Merlin and Blue took turns laying beside her. She ate 1/2 can of Chef Boyardee so even in her state she could still eat. Fiqured she could have anything she wanted at that point. After all the pets said their goodbyes my mom and sister came to pick me up. It was one of the most difficult rides I've had to take but here is what also made it "easier". I say that loosely as this is the conclusion I came to and the peace it gave me. This was a perfect day to say goodbye if I had been given another chance. This time her end did not come from being found on the floor in a state of panic (hers and mine). This time she was surrounded by all who loved her laying under her favorite tree on a beautiful sunny day. Until it was time to take the drive to the vets. This time the end was peaceful with myself, and my family surrounding her on the floor on a blanket which the vet had placed. We encircled her and she left this world hearing my voice. This is how I would choose if given the chance to say my goodbyes compared to the previous time. Many years previous I lost my beloved 17 year old Snoopy. My mom found he had passed during the day when no one was home. I was inconsolable as he had been my pet since the age of 10 and I wished I had the chance to be there and say goodbye. Two different scenerios , two beloved dogs, and while my grief was unbareable in both cases it was because of Snoopy and what I had wished I could change, that in the end made me see I could do that with Shaggy. A peaceful passing with me there. It never gets easier as I had to do the same with others since that time but that is a personal choice and only you know what is best for you and Drezzie. Arriving home today, I thought I'd have to make the choice regarding Blue as his leg went completely under him and he was unable to get up. I picked him up and carried him to his bed. The look in his eyes and face told me it wasn't time. I didn't make the call and Ole Blue is now perky and back to his usual arthritic self. Just before logging on this post I was thinking of Shaggy and the difficult choices we all have to make. No matter how much we prepare ourselves for it as I have done for the last year with Blue it is still one of the most difficult things to do. I wish I could be there to give you a hug Chris. Yes, love blinds us and we do second quess ourselves and the eyes do tell. You know Drezzie best of all and whatever you do you do it out of love for her. Whatever choice you make we are all here for you. Marianne |
| I just love that picture of Drez...she is so youthful looking and it breaks my heart just to look into those beautiful eyes!
We had to put our old dog to sleep a few days before Christmas four years ago-it was so sad. I kept talking to him and telling him it was okay to go - hoping that when it was "his time" he would just peacefully fall asleep. But his eyes just kept looking at me like he always did-full of love and affection. The vet told us that he is not going to come out of his "spell" this time, so we said goodbye. It was one of the worst things that I have ever been through. I have no advice for you, just tender, loving memories that still make me cry. Give Drez a big hug for me and I will keep you both in my prayers!  |
| Thanks, everyone. Just an update on where we stand.
Drez is no better but no worse than when I first posted. Ever since we got over that episode with her eating the buns and plastic wrap, her tummy seems to have settled down a bit. But she will never be her old self, so I'm still fighting with myself for an answer. If only those eyes wouldn't be so alert yet, or if her appetite decreased, or just SOMETHING to give me a sign. She's bound and determined not to make this easy on me. I'll keep you all updated. Pray for me! |
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| Chris, I have been thinking about you. I pray that will know when the right time is, or that she could just go peacefully in her sleep |
| I'm praying for you. There is so much I want to say, but I think everyone has already said it. You will know the right time. |
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Pepsi's Mommy wrote: :ghug: |
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