Healing after losing a loved one
Our decision to end our dog's life was an extremely difficult one. We live in Massachusetts but we are traveling around the country in our motorhome, and on Friday night, January 31st, we were in Pheonix, Arizona, about 2600 miles away from home. On this day, Jake had a really bad day. He couldn't walk more than a few feet without falling, and Joan must have had to pick him up 10 or 15 times (or more) during his extremely brief "walks". I posted on forum.oes.org about our situation, and recieved some replies, including the brilliant idea of contacting a member of NEOESR in the area (Thank you, Kevin!). I happen to be a member of the Board of Directors for the organization, but Joan and I never thought of doing this. As I told Kevin, I guess the brain doesn't function at it's peak during times of stress. Anyway, that's my story, and I'm sticking with it. Joan and I wanted to take Jake's remains home with us, so logistically, we would have to be in the same location for a little while. As it turned out, we were planning on being in Las Vegas for about 10 days in about a week, starting on Friday February 7th. On Monday, we called Glen, a member of NEOESR who lives in Las Vegas. He referred us to his own vet, Dr. Mark at Lakeview Animal Hospital. We called and made the appointement for Friday, February 7th at 2:00PM. As the week progressed, Jake's condition was improving. He fell only about 5 times each walk on Tuesday, 3 times on Wednesday, and only once on Thursday morning. This was making our decision seem rash. On the way to Las Vegas on Wednesday, Jake enjoyed the Grand Canyon with us, although I have to say he didn't seem to impressed with his general surroundings-- he was still most interested in the local trash bins (his version of the fire plug) and trees and bushes. He got to eat some snow, his favorite treat from back east. Thursday afternoon, on the way to Las Vegas, Jake vomited a few times. This is unusual for Jake. Thurday evening, he had an accidental bowel movement right where he was laying, also very unusual since removing him from w/d dog food, (but the second time in a week). Our decision was solidified, but we still wanted guidance from the vet. We arrived in Las Vegas a day early, so we got to set up camp and be a little more rested and so that Jake's final day wouldn't be quite so hectic. Jake went over the Rainbow Bridge at 3 O'Clock, in Las Vegas. After the procedure, Joan and I returned to our very empty motorhome. We rubbed a lady's black Cocker Spaniel and ruined her evening by bursting into tears after she asked us how our dog was doing. We left and drove down The Strip in a fog of pain. We walked around Fremont Street, completely unimpressed with the theatrics. We started to get hungry, and we both found (or at least looked for) solace in a large kitchen-sink pizza, definately not on either of our diets. After the pizza, we both actually DID feel a little bit better. We returned home to clean for the arrival of Joan's sister Rita from Connecticut, for a pre-decision-arranged visit. We threw away some of Jake's things and leftover food, and Joan put away a few things that she didn't want to part with. I posted on forum.oes.org delivering the bad news. As I was posting, my eye caught sight of a grey bolster pillow on the floor which I thought was Jake. Joan and I burst into tears again. Then off to the airport. It was good to have company. Since we didn't want to also ruin Rita's vacation, Joan and I decided to "buck up" and put on brave faces for Rita. That simple act of pretending to be normal did make us feel more normal. Having company here to alter our normal routine also seems to be helping. We stayed out late last night without returning home in the middle to care for Jake. I am still thinking of Jake many times each waking hour. Joan and I are still talking about him frequently, remembering "Oh, Jake would have this now, and Jake would do that now." Remembering other things about Jake, and still missing him terribly. My pain today, Sunday, is perhaps a tenth of what it was on Friday, but that tithe of pain is quite a burden still. Jake's Memorial page can be seen at http://www.oes.org/html/jake.html |
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| Ron and Joan -
I read your story this morning and have been thinking of you most of the day. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Joan at this sad time. It is quite alright to honor Jake's memory by remembering the things he would be doing - that is how we know how much these wonderful creatures were a part of our famlies, and our lives. He will never leave your heart. I know that even now he is being welcomed over the Rainbow Bridge by so many other sheepies and is running all around, free of pain and telling all of his new friends what a wonderful life he had with you. My deepest sympathies, my friends. Guinevere's Dad, Kevin Z. |
| Dear Ron and Joan,
So sad to hear about your good friend Jake. My heart goes out to you both. Our Roxie girl, sadly went to sleep aswell on Friday the 7th. The vet kindly came over to our house and Roxie was comfy and cosy in our living room resting, when he gave her the needle. It was really peaceful, and I feel she really wanted to go too. She was so pooped, and ashamed of the accidents she was having and really lost her spirit. The interesting thing is, she too lesft us just before 3pm on that day. How freaky is that???? Two very special OES, in two different parts of the world left at nearly the same time. Perhaps they are friends now... She was my most precious, precious gift, and I am so grateful to have been her mommy. Andrea |
| Dear Andrea -
I am so sorry to hear of Roxie's passing. My deepest sympathies go out to you. How wonderful, though, that you could give her that one last gift of being at home with you in the end. I think that must have been so peaceful for her. I wish Roxie godspeed on her journey over the Rainbow Bridge, and know that my Merlin and my Abbey are there waiting for her too to show her the ropes and hear her share her stories of love from this wonderful life she had with you. Bless you my friend. Kevin Z. |
| Andrea,
We are sorry to learn of your loss. We're sure that Roxie and Jakie are frollicking and romping together at the Bridge. We picked up Jake from the "funeral home" today. In addition to what was expected, they returned a multi-picture picture frame that has a lock of his hair in one place, his paw print in another, and a copy of the Rainbow Bridge poem. There's room for a picture, too. We're bringing Jake home with us to Massachusetts, probably in April. Joan |
| Thank you Joan and Kevin for your kind sweet words!!!! Joan, that picture frame sounds beautiful!!!! We weren't so lucky with our cremation services, they were the only ones I could find and don't really know much about how they "DO" things. I always thought that that would be a good business to get into, because I know that I would really respect the pet and treat it the way the owners would want....
We are now "missing" our girl. I hear her all the time... I just miss her hugs and big wet kisses and following us around, and incredibly, her NOSE never lost it's sense even when all her other senses had, her nose still worked great!!!! She would get up those stairs NO MATTER WHAT to see what we were eating!!!! NO STOPPING her!!! Well, ...gotta go make my special Valentine's dinner, it will be very lonely in the kitchen... ps. It's really comforting to know that Roxie has made friends with Merlin and Abbey and Jake. The males better watch out because my Roxie had a tendancy to be a little forward with the "boys" !!!! Andrea |
| Just wodering how to put up Roxie's picture on here????? |
| There are a few ways
If you want just a small "avatar" next to your name, the way Jake shows up under mine, you can do that from your own profile page. If you want a full size picture posted here's what to do to send one here: 1) open a WINDOWS explorer, and navigate to the picture that you want to send. 2) open an INTERNET explorer and type in the white address bar ftp.oes.org/incoming and then press enter 3) when it finishes connecting, drag the picture that you want to send from the WINDOWS explorer window to the INTERNET explorer window. The file should copy. Then post a post and mention the name of the file that you wanted in the post, and I'll link to it for you. This is the easiest way right now, as my connection speed to the internet is limited by my cell phone, and I don't have secure software for you to be able to place the large pictures on here by yourself. I keep threatening to make that feature available... but it's quite a bit of work... Andrea, the bad news is that you get to be the "lab rat" and see if this process will work. The good news is that if it works, the picture will be here! -Ron. UPDATE: The anonymous FTP system has been disabled by the web host due to security issues, so this method will not work. |
| I'm hoping my girl is showing up here,...I just did it the easy way for now with just a little picture showing. Is she gorgeous or what????? |
| Oh dear...I have only just discovered this site.
I have read only a couple of sad stories, and I have tears in my eyes. I lost 'Charlie' nearly six years ago. I miss him dreadfully even now, and only owners of Old English Sheepdogs now that feeling. He was my baby...he was my friend.....he understood my feelings....and when I was not well he sat by me ...or even got onto the bed with me. He was always there for me. And I too had to call the vet...and walk him that final walk...... I am still crying now as I remember that awful day. Even a few years after he died....I could still hear him about the house. The floorboards creaked...and I looked up for him. I would dearly love another OES...however have decided there would never be another to replace Charlie in my heart. He took a huge chunk of my heart with him. He is always in my heart. |
| i feel so sorry for all of you that have lost your sheepie babies. although i am hopefully many years from going through what you all have i had a taste of the fear and pain that you have experienced. i had matie spayed on tuesday and she threw up all night. by the wee hours of the morning, she was having diarhea and there was blood in it. from the time it started to the time we returned from the vet i was crying and laying with her on the floor petting her and telling her how much i love her. i was so afraid of loosing her so young. she looked so sad and was in so much pain it broke my heart. thank God that she is doing much better. i am just so glad that all of you are here. it's nice to know that there are people out there that are able to understand the loss that is felt when our sheppies time comes. may you all find peace in knowing that your pets had wonderful lives. |
| Hi all. I just found this website - while looking for a sheepie statue for my garden memorial to my sweet Merlin...it's only been 6 days...and reading all the posts brings me to tears again and again.....I just wanted to share something I wrote the day after Merlin crossed over - he was 11 years old -and would have been 12 on Sept. 10th.:
I know several of the animal control officers are familiar with Merlin. He was a fixture in our part of town, and the best companion and family pet a person could ask for. In his prime, he couldn’t stand to let a car go by without ‘herding’ it, yet he was terrified of sheep. And not a child could enter our yard our house without a welcoming nudge and lick. Every single person that knocked on our door received a ‘gift’, which could be anything from his food bowl to an old shoe to a piece of paper. It was the thought that counted. His favorite game was when the neighborhood kids would all get together and play Jurassic Park and he got to be the t-rex. He was a hero too. When our house burned in 1996, Merlin fought me to go back into the house – and when I finally gave up and let him go, he made two trips, each time coming back with a six-week old kitten in his mouth. They would have died had he not gone in to get them. Years ago, when Merlin was young, one of the animal control officers at that time would take Merlin riding in his truck. Forever after that, anytime Merlin saw an animal control truck, he would shake with excitement; and if the unknowing officer happened to stop and open their door, Merlin was quick to jump in and take what he considered to be his rightful place in the passenger seat. Merlin had his ‘feminine’ side and there were many times that we swore that under the gray and white mane were blond roots. He was a quick learner, albeit in his own way. At ten weeks of age, he learned that if he relieved himself on the carpet, he got to go outside. So instead of running to the door when he had to go, he went…and then ran to the door so pleased with himself. We knew that ‘herding’ and ‘racing’ cars was dangerous and tried many times to break him, but it was his passion. We never realized quite how dangerous though until the day Merlin chased the neighbor as he left for work. Unfortunately, Merlin was paying too much attention to the car, and not enough to where he was going. He ran headlong into the trunk of a mulberry tree, knocking himself out cold for a good five minutes. My youngest daughter and Merlin grew up together. She never played with dolls, she didn’t have to, she had Merlin. Merlin patiently allowed my daughter to dress him in baby clothes, bonnets, dresses, whatever she wanted. And when she was done, he proudly went out to race cars and show off his wardrobe, nearly causing many an accident. There are so many other memories, I can't begin to list them all -how when I let him out every morning - he collected the newspapers off everyone's doorsteps and deposited them on mine - with me furiously trying to 're-deliver' b4 people woke up. How he knew my sister was pregnant b4 she even knew and would lay his head on her tummy. I almost can't stand to go home every day -because he's not there to greet me anymore - I wake up 3 or 4 times in th emiddle of the nite because I miss the nightly 'bed checks' he made on the whole family. The best decision we ever made was to welcome an OES to our family and even through the pain, I wouldn't have traded our time with him for anything in the world [/code] |
| I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved sheepie. Your description of Merlin is very touching and in your words I can feel your love. He is fortunate to have been part of your family, just as you are fortunate to have had him in yours. I hope that as the days pass it hurts less and the fond memories will bring smiles to your face. He is at peace and although his physical body is gone, his spirit will always be with you. Thank you for sharing Merlin with us - I really enjoyed it.
Ann & Phoebe |
| Thank you so much for your words of sympathy and kindness - I've always stressed more about my pets than about people - and I grieve so hard - most people just don't get it. It's nice to be able to let it out around people who understand - I've already been asked the totally stupid question - "So, what kind of dog are you going to get now?" - Like I am weird because I can't even think about any other dog. I don't know if I'll ever be ready -even tho the house seems so empty - I still have my little Yorkie, Taz, and that's enough....she is grieving as well - she is only 1 year younger than Merlin and they grew up together. |
| I can't tell you how much I enjoyed reading about Merlin!!! I wish I could have met him!!! I certainly am able to identify with many of your memories. I always wonder when I will get another one, and the timimg is just not yet. I will always miss Roxie girl I know but I am still really grieving her. It hasn't been 3 mths even!! I still can't get over how empty our house feels, and I always think of her when I come home and think I may see her head poking through the rails of the railing. I miss her coming to bed with us and racing to get the best spot on the bed!!! Oh, there are a zillion wonderful memories...
I am planning on making a flower bed for Roxie and my cat who also passed away this year. Any ideas???? |
| your roxie has the exact same look on her face that merlin always had when we asked him to pose for a picture! i'm still working on getting a picture of merlin on w/ my name (i have a pix but it's too big -it can only be 8 kb - mine is 156!)
anyway - this is what i'm going to do. I'm trying to find a garden statue of a sheepdog (I may end up with just a dog statue) - I have this little flower bed right outside the front door - that we could never put flowers in because merlin laid on them all the time!! so - i'm going to put the statue and a couple of rose bushes (rose bushes were merlin's favorite - because he used them as a scratching post - broke off every one we ever tried to grow! not only did he scratch - he moaned while he did it - it was sooo funny) and he has this huge black hard rubber water dish (it is a small livestock water thing) - i'm going to bury it about halfway - and get one of those little water fountain kits from Walmart and turn it into a fountain - and that's my memorial. my cat has decided i have to get off the computer now! I'll write more later. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++(that was the cat) |
buttonapple wrote: (i have a pix but it's too big -it can only be 8 kb - mine is 156!) Email the picture to me (Ron@oes.org) and I'll be glad to right-size it for you. buttonapple wrote: I'm trying to find a garden statue of a sheepdog (I may end up with just a dog statue)
I think I know someone who may know where to find a concrete statue of an OES.... They are large and HEAVY (and they have been sold for as much as $400 at the NEOESR annual auction.) Let me know if you'd like more info and I'll try to find out the details. |
Wow...400??? what about the shipping??? What I'm looking for Ron is something that will hold up to the weather - and probably around 2 feet tall? but not so expensive. lol. THANX!  |
| I'm not sure if this is exactlly what you are looking for, but here is a link to a garden statue on ebay. It has a buy it now price of 21.00 but as of right now there have been no bids. The auction still has 4 days left. I don't know if this will help or not. I hope it does http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3606502409&category=13634
I also have a link for a company that engraves memorial stones for your garden, and they can engrave an OES http://www.artisticetching.com/petmemorials.htm |
| I've started to put together a tribute page for my dog Jake
It can be seen at www.oes.org/html/jake.html It's not done, it's just the pictures that I have readily available digitally. I need to go scan in some photographs that I'd like to remember. Of course, Jake has other pictures on the site in the photo galleries. I had a very hard time this afternoon, putting this together. I was surprised at just how much I am still hurting just below the surface. -Ron |
 
Look !!!!! Ron got Merlin's picture up for me. I'm so excited! No one ever believed me when I would tell them that Merlin thought he was people - so much that when we gathered in the living room - he sat on the couch with the rest of us - they would say...'you mean he jumps up on the couch to sit' - nope - he backed his butt up to it and SAT with his feet on the floor! |
| Just wanted to let everyone know what a wonderful dog Bella was. I am extremely upset over her passing. It just hurts so much.
God Bless You Bella. Mommie. |
| Our hearts are with you. A lot of tears and the huge void in your heart and stomach can't ever be replaced or understood by anyone who hasn't experienced this type of loss. The memories and great times you had together are probably so much more than most relationships get to experience. The fact that you are writing here shows the love and care Bella shared with you. She knows how much you cared for and loved her! Be greatful of your time together and smile whenever sweet memories of Bella comes to mind. I'm sure she has a constant smile smiling down on you.
Diane & Roland |
| Having just lost my wonderful Merlin in april of this year - i totally empahize with you - i am so sorry for your loss and both you and bella are in my prayers. the thing that helps me the most is knowing and visualizing my merlin, kevin's merlin, abbey, jake, roxie and all the other wonderful family members who were so loved and loved us in return while on this earth are over the rainbow bridge, playing, pain free and worry free just waiting for the day they can greet us at the bridge.
Again, you have my sympathies. |
| How incredibly heart wrenching your stories were. but also the love you had for them shows through so much. My Shaggy is slowly heading towards the Rainbow Bridge and I am so heart broken the 15 years with her have gone too quickly.
For me to heal, as it was when I lost Oscar and Feline , my 19 and 21 yr old cats was to adopt another needy animal. Not to replace them as they were each, one of a kind, nor do I see it as replacing Shaggy by putting out the word that I am looking for another. Each has a place in my heart and will never be forgotten. They are like our children , each irreplacable, each one unique. A little bit of light creeps in when I know that I will be helping another one soon when mine passes over the Rainbow Bridge. I'm not there yet however...have a vet appt next week...I'm sure I will be posting again here. Thanks to you all for sharing your stories and listening to mine. Sigh look at the time..she's having a rough night and I'm standing guard over her...this is so incredibly hard. Ron, can you please direct me to the site "enough is enough" you spoke of? |
| Sure. It's another thread in this forum. The direct address is http://forum.oes.org/viewtopic.php?t=27
I wish you and Shaggy peace and strength |
| Thanks Ron,
For directing me to the previous post you spoke of. It was so helpful reading your story and that of others...I'm kinda stuck on the "what if" stage. Shaggy had a bad night in the early morning when I wrote my post. It was 4 am and I stayed by her side all night...her breathing seemed a bit laboured. She lay at my feet sleeping and I went on the computer..even though no one was in the forum I felt surrounded by people who knew exactly how I felt. I cried at the stories and for the pain I feel with Shaggy's illness. I was lucky in a lot of ways...Shaggy was diagnosed with Immune Deficiancy Thrombocytopenia...(whew! think that's how you spell it) over 6 yrs ago. She was near death at that time and had many transfusions in order to save her life. Her life back then revolved around Chemo,Steroids and a series of other drugs. Her body became so bloated she was unable to walk down the stairs and due to the medication had to urinate aprox every two hours. For a month I slept on the couch and carried her down the stairs day and night. I would do anything for her. I too questioned if "enough was enough". I felt selfish as I saw the quality of her life so diminshed. I finally said I love her enough to let her go. I took her off all the medication with the exception of natural immune boosters. Went to the library and studied about foods that were cancer fighting (beta carotene) as the disease is very much like cancer. I learned that there really is something in chicken soup that cures the ill. From that day on Shaggy went on a diet of chicken broth and veggies which I made faithfully every day. The result was nothing short of miraculous, as the vet claimed. Her blood platelet count soared and she was deemed healthy once again. I felt like I had a second chance with her! She bounced back and became her former bouncey self again. Her blood count never dropped again and she recovered. I had prepared myself for her impending death at that time, so being able to spend another six years with her has always never been taken for granted. She's my miracle dog. At the same time I remember the promise I made...I love you enough to let you go and don't want to be selfish. I remember thinking too at the time...you'd do the same for me. This prophecy turned out to be true a year later due to some freak accident when I became ill and took a month to recouporate. During that time Shaggy never left my side. She is now very aged, her blindness causes her to sometimes bump into my sliding glass door when she wants to go out. Her arthritis is bad and she has trouble lifting herself up from the floor. Her heart condition (which just started 6 months ago) is under control due to heart medication but occasionally she will have coughing fits. She sleeps what seems like 23 hours out of the 24 hour day. ...Yet.....when she does wake up..she is wagging her tail and offers a doggie kiss. It's then I question as to ...is she ready yet? I keep going back and forth on my decision. Sometimes, (I saw a familiarity with Ron's story regarding Jake) I think yes...and suddenly she seems perkier or eats really well and I thing....no maybe not.... I've tried to make things easier for her...installing automatic lights on the porch so as day or night her path will be lite..( she seems to really tumble in twilight).I've made a cosy bed for her as she can no longer jump on mine..(her favorite place) I never move the water bowl from the exact same place as she will step in it otherwise. I carry her down the stairs in the daytime so she can romp in the backyard for a few mins before she becomes too tired. My other dog...gently nudges her away from the fishpond and other dangers. He's 12 a former rescue dog. She too looked after him when he first arrived. The vet appt is next week...I'll keep you guys posted. |
| An update:
Unbelievably Shaggy is still with me. A few days before the vet appointment I found a wonderful groomer who was understanding as to the special care Shaggy needed. My request was unusual...I needed someone to shave her, yet take extra special precautions with her fragile health. The reason for the shave was for the vet to be able to go over her body to check as to the size and shape of her lumps, I wanted to be sure that I was doing the right thing. The groomer was a breeder of Standard Poodles whom operated out of her own home. Shaggy was allowed to wander around when she became tired and all the cutting was done with either myself assisting or one of the groomers seven children. It took a total of 12 hours...but neither myself or the woman,(Maggie) complained as Shaggy took lots of naps inbetween. The vet appointment was 2 days later and once again Shaggy "perked up". She looked unlike I had ever seen her...not even in puppy coat but her entire body was shaved. The vet checked the lumps and measured them...numerous they are on her body. Nope she's doing fine under the circumstances the vet said..."and tho you have the funniest looking dog...it's not her time". My son whom had not seen her with that "haircut" remarked about what a funny looking new dog I got. Caused us to chuckle, especially when the entire neighborhood remarked about my new dog. I'm not sure exactly what happened as I was sure that this time there would be no second chance but once again Shaggy proved me wrong. The haircut seemed to have given her a boost in energy and she even managed nightly walks again...although would tire after a few blocks. So once again she is still with me...funny looking lumpy dog...but we all know that when you love someone..looks don't matter. |
| I have duplicated this post here....I hope none of you mind
There are no words anyone can ever say that seem to fit how you must feel. But hear me out with what i say I myself have just had to make that same old descision. My beloved Jessica (a Beardie Collie) of 12 and a bit years, was diagnosed with cancer of the liver. She spent the past 9 months of her life at home, very rarely going out for her usual walk...she was such a fit dog prior to her illness. Unfortunately we all have to make that call at some point or another when our partners fall ill, i use the word partner because that is indeed what they are. The Beardie and OES are very closely related as you may well know, and share the best of each others traits. No other dog in the world will ever replace the one you have just lost and i grieve with you. Please accept our regards and sympathy and pass the message on to your family. From this event i studied my life long and hard, it has now been 2 very long months since my Jessica fell asleep in my arms. I find it so strange, but as an ex-royal marine serving my country in conflicts all over the globe, i could kill a human with consumate and relative ease, i hunt without feeling but i cried for days at the loss of my dog and spent tortuous days deliberating the descision i had to make. The bond with which we make with our furry friends stays for our entire life and lest we never forget our partners. Like i say it has been 2 long months and winter is closing in here in the UK but news from our camp is a 2 week old bundle of fun (which has no name as yet) which we went to visit last night and promptly fell in love with. She has 3 other brothers and 5 sisters. So we are waiting now for the 9th week to arrive so we can go and pick her up, we decided not to have another Beardie because nothing would or could ever replace her, so an Old English was our choice. I made the descision when i lost Jessica, never to put myself through that again, but i found myself lost without my walking partner, my wife feels the same as does my 9 year old son. I miss (as you undoubtably do) the warm welcome no matter what your mood, your dog seems never to care about your bad moods, they forgive. I missed being able to talk to the only other sane member of my family when times were bad....as she used to cock her head to one side and listen so patiently to my winging and moaning....and she never judged me for it. We had good and bad times together and our family has been a better place to be when she was here. It has been a long road we all travelled together, she arrived the month after i married my wife and was my friend, She watched my son arrive in this world, she saw my wife and i cry at the loss of our first born....she saw the birth of our second son and was his best friend, she actually looked after him and slept under his cot, then his bunk bed as he grew up. I watched them as they played and never did i think the day would come when she wasnt here with us any more. But the wind of time moves on and ages pass....(words by R Jordan) and never is it more poiniant at his junction my life, as i am sure it is in yours at this sad time. We made the right move for us, we now have a positive and beautifull thing to remember, and a glorious future with our new addition when she arrives. I too wonder, if she will sit looking at the Oak casket sitting above our fireplace wondering who's ashes it is in there Ron and Joan, Above all, remember that your beloved Jake will always live on in your memories and stories....you will never be alone. Kindest regards Andy H |
  
I just want peopel to understand losing a pet is a hard thing!! We all make it thru every time - had to have my Maggie put down - she was just really old! I had to have my prissy put down - she was old - prissy was the best dog ever - I used to put her in doll cloths and stroll her in a baby buggy when I was little - I mae her play so hard I was the only one of the four of us she would bite - alot. When the day came I had to do this I called my vet and told her I would just drop her off - I couldn't watch her - I was made to sit there and hold her as I freaked out crying. A friend of mine once scolled me and said - you never leave them when they are being put down - you stay with tehm to the very end - she said they have been your freind and we must be there friend till the very end!! The poem goes - I've been your loyal friend so stay with me to the very end! I never thought about it like that - I just knew I couldn't be with them and watch that?? I have ad eight funerals in the last year & if I had to do it all over I would do it right!! |
| Nancy, I personally would never have a dog put down without me being there....because i owe her so much, but many people cannot do that.
I cannot, and would not, judge you or anyone for it because we are all different, it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do and it effected me deeply watching her pass away in my arms. But i am glad i did it that way. We found out how bad she was only a week before, then on the thursday i went back to the vets to find out the final test results and they scanned her again, i then found out how rapid the cancer was spreading and the vet asked me if we wanted her put to sleep then and there. I couldnt do that, so i brought her home and we had one last weekend together, spoiling her rotten. I called the vet on Monday morning and they came to my house in the afternoon. Like i say, no one should ever call you for doing it in your own way. It is your right and your choice, and a true friend would not criticise you for your choices....it is bad enough losing your partner and friend let alone being made to feel bad by family and so called friends. |
| This is my first time posting on the OES website. My name is Dana and I'm Stanley's Mom (Stanley is an OES who will be 2 years old one week from today!). I just wanted to say that my heart truly does go out to all of you that have experienced this loss: I will be completely devastated. My husband saw his 16 year old OES, Goolie, over the Rainbow and has said it was nearly one of the most difficult things he has ever done. And here I sit, reading your messages at work and sobbing. I promise to post a picture of Stanley very soon, and if you're ever driving through Indiana, you're welcome to stop over for the Stanley Winston Show.. starring Stanley Winston!!
Dana  |
| I almost feel like an intruder on this site. I came here because I love OES and have wanted one for as long as I can remember. It's just that it has never happened. Now I find myself wondering and thought maybe you could help. I recently (actually Sept. 5th--almost 3 months ago) lost my dog. He was ill and I had to make that horribly painful decision that so many of us have made. Amos was a cockapoo--my constant companion for 15 1/2 years. I miss him so terribly -- more than I ever thought was possible. I always wanted an OES--even before Amos--then he just came along and the love was there. There is a huge empty place in my heart--and now I have found myself at the OES page. Do I dare start over? I have read all about Jake--what a wonderful dog--and I have cried & cried. Do I put myself through this again? Would you do it again? Like all of you--when I have a dog--he is family--totally. To lose one is the most painful thing I have done in my life. I know I cannot replace Amos--but could another dog--an OES--help to fill the void? Would it be fair to the dog? I am so confused. So many people tell me I need another dog--because they know how I am. But the thought of losing one again--I just don't know. From what I have read here-the OES are very loving and great family dogs. My children are all grown--it is just my husband and me. Of course, any dogs I have will be house dogs..they will become part of my life in everything I do. Can anyone offer me any advice? How do I know what to do? Thanks.... |
| Hi,
Joan and I thought about it for a long time, and we decided to "take a break" from dog ownership for a little while, while we finished our trip across the country in our motorhome. Then about 5 months after losing Jake we began to want another dog, and we were looking at the rescue site to see if there might be a match for us. Here is what happened: We are fostering Winston for 4 months before he goes off to Hawaii !!! Here's the story, as far as I've written it: http://forum.oes.org/viewtopic.php?t=344 We will be giving Winston up in the first week of January. It will be hard (more so for Joan than for me I'm afraid) but he's been a fantastic dog, and the whole experience has been incredibly rewarding, helping to bring about a happy ending. Other very important family things have been happening in our lives recently, so we've not been working much on oes.org... but we intend to start back up again very shortly... including bringing everyone up to date on Winston's story. |
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