Ruh-row! (says in best scooby doo voice) - not leaving AK?
He stumbled across a slide for a upcoming presentation that says soldiers with an ETS after Oct 1, 2008 may be stuck in another Stop-Loss cycle. Translation: Emotionally, Mr. J had trouble being away from his son [and I hope his wife] this past 15 month deployment. We decided as a family that the pros weren't worth the cons anymore when it comes to staying in the military, and had planned on getting out. His ETS is Nov 1, 2008. His battalion deploys again early Jan 2009 (or Feb 2009). Stop loss generally holds back those scheduled to get out of the military 120 days prior to a planned deployment. The military finds it easier and cheaper to keep what is already their trained and prepared "property" than over deploying the already "over deployed" soldiers. It affects their families, the overall mental state of soldiers, and overall morale for the battalion. So stop loss essentially makes sense ...in a way. The earliest he'd be able to get out now would be 2010. His papers have a typo and say Oct 1, 2008 ...so we're hoping he can somehow get out of this! He had the option of getting out several months early a few months ago .............................when there was no indication of them implementing a stop loss, but we didn't take it b/c we need all the time allowed to sell this house, buy a new one, AND find a job. Now it looks like it will bite us in the butt. Here's hoping the news changes or we find a way out. |
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I'm so sorry! I don't know what to say--I hope something gets figured out though. I was just hoping that Mr J found an amazing civilian job in AK and didn't want to leave. |
| NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I'm not sure I follow all of what you wrote except the part about going BACK  |
| im so sorry Jo...
hope things work out how YOU want and not how the military does......... |
That's one of the things I was hoping would change immediately - that they would no longer use the Stop Loss clause. Let those who want out, get out when their tour is over. Re-up if you want, but don't force them to stay. 
I really, really hope you can figure a way for him to get out when he's supposed to get out (or sooner). 
I'm with you. I'd be speechless, too.  |
| My fiance is in the Canadian Military so I am familiar with the lifestyle. Fortunately he hasn't gone on tour yet, but I know that's going to happen at some point in the next while. I do understand how frustrating it is when the military changes their mind more frequently than I change my underwear.
I'm sorry you are in this situation... |
| Oh no!
I don't think I can handle another jar of Jelly Bellies! 
Really, I don't mean to make light (OK yes I do) but I have sympathy pains or depression or anxiety or whatever it is when Mr. J. deploys... |
Is it really THAT BAD to eat a jar of jellybellies, Ron? 
I wanted to say that this news IS my worst nightmare, but I understand. I've become extremely emotional when I see mr. j interacting with the boys and us being a "family" finally. Though he's home, I imagine him being gone again now that I see how in love he is with his kids. Before he left, lil J was too young to do anything, so the connection wasn't as strong. Anyway, I just can't imagine him leaving anymore with the REAL possibility of him never returning to us. BUT, I do think stop loss is better than the alternative of putting in a draft or something that would disrupt even more families. Though this effects our lives since he has completed his commitment and we had other plans ...it would effect the lives civilians who weren't already in the military or had training 10x more. They're not already accustomed to this lifestyle, have not been trained, have OTHER lives and jobs already, and may not be qualified for several reasons. Also, the Reserves are there to be used in a situation like this, but they have been OVER-used already, and making them deploy even more and longer than they already have would cause some serious problems. The military tries to promise us a year stateside after each year long deployment, but they're so desperate for soldiers that this is becoming harder and harder to fulfill for them. Everyone in some way gets screwed. Just as I said, we really weren't expecting it. This is the second time he's been caught in a stop loss. The first time it wasn't a biggie, and we thought it would be more beneficial to stay in (and we didn't have any kids). |
| [color=violet] I'm so sorry. I couldn't imagine having to let go again after you just got him back home. I will keep my fingers crossed that things will go the way you want them to. [/color] |
| I'm so sorry J.
I truly hope he can get out of it . Antoinette |
| I agree, so does Mr. J, about EVERYONE owing a debt to society, and we coincidently just talked about this in the car a little while ago.
...but you may not want them to all serve it in the military or in Iraq. With a draft, they basically accept anyone with a heartbeat and they don't need to be given responsibilities that affect the lives of millions when they have very little training to begin with (that they'd have before they go) along with them not even meeting the already low standards to get in the military. We think everyone should pay their debt in other ways ...like peace corps or things of that nature. |
| My husband and I agree, and have the same discussions about EVERYBODY owing a debt to society. |
| Jo, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it works out for you and you can come back south soon.
I agree - people seem to be losing the concept of supporting America. People forget that freedom has to be earned. |
Not to open another can of worms...but maybe we do need a Democrat in office to bring the troops home. I have no opinion either way of the war other than to mourn all of our losses. I am proud of all who serve, regardless of whether we should be there or not. Too many families suffer without their loved ones. I really hope you can avoid this Mrs. J. Sounds like Daddy needs to be home with his family.  |
| I'm so sorry sweetie, I know exactly what kind of tension you are going through with this. We are afraid that when the time comes, my hubby will be stop lossed as well, because his MOS is sooooo shorthanded on NCOs, and anyone in general. And we understand the fears of not getting a full year home, as some of you may remember from my earlier posts. My husband has a hard time being away from us as well, and its starting to wear him down. Add in the fact that he keeps losing friends.... All I can say is good luck, you'll be in our prayers, and if you ever wanna gripe with someone who knows the lingo and lifestyle, send me a personal message and I'll give you my phone number, or you can send me yours. AT&T hates when hubby is gone, I use my unlimited long distance like its going out of style, lol. Hugs to you and your family! |
| I am so sorry to see this. It is WRONG on so many levels.......
I agree with Ron - we need to institute a draft. Maybe when some of our Congressmen's children get deployed, things might change for the better. JMHO. Laurie |
| I know this draws strong emotions and I pray it will all work out for you and your family Jo. I've said it before-- but, will say it again and again---- Our heartfelt THANK YOU for your continued support to our country.
Big hugs to you, Mr. J and those precious babies. Lori |
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I hope that something changes and you don't have to go. Our thoughts are with you. |
SheepieMommy wrote: :(
I hope that something changes and you don't have to go. Our thoughts are with you. Ditto!!! |
| I'm really sorry to hear this news too. I also hope that the situation changes soon for the better, in Iraq & for all of the military & their families. |
| Joahaeyo, just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and hoping that all goes well for you, your lovely family and all military families |
| Hi Ms J,
My heart dropped when I read your post and I couldn't help think,"this can't be possible!" Your family has already made so many sacrifices and if I'm correct he was deployed when you were pregnant with Big J and then again when J was a baby..that's twice! It seems way more than most families should have to bear. You guys are in my thoughts. It's not just him being away from his family but you as well who holds the fort when he's gone. I feel heartsick about your situation and pray you'll have a good outcome. Hugs from me Marianne |
| Mrs J I am so sorry to hear about your latest news....I hope things turn around for you. |
| That is not the news I was hoping to hear. I thought it was that you guys were staying in AK because Mr J found a great job - non-military!
I will be right along with everyone else hoping and praying he gets to stay home with the family. |
| I hope that Mr. J gets to stay home.
My son is due to come back from Afghanistan in two months, God willing. His enlistment is up in July, but he signed up for 4 years of ready reserves, which terrifies me for exactly the same reason you are so worried. My son is single, and plans to complete his education when he gets home, so it is not the same as having a wife and children whose lives he is missing. On the other hand, the stress of having our son deployed in an increasingly dangerous area (we don't hear much about Afghanistan on the news, but my son has been doing the house to house searches and more in extremely primitive conditions) has taken a huge toll on our family. I can see the stress lines with his brothers, his sister, his grandparents, and especially his father. The only thing that keeps me from falling apart is knowing that I have to keep it together for the rest of them--and for my son when he gets home. I also believe that there should be an expanded opportunity for public service--domestic and military--with educational and health benefits attached. However, I do not support a draft and never have. I remember the remendous relief I felt when the draft ended in the '70's just in time to keep my favorite cousin from being drafted. I also remember 2 cousins coming home from Viet Nam--physically ok, but the rest--not so much. Lifelong problems afterwards. For those who support a draft, what is stopping you from enlisting? Are your children enlisted? Your spouses? It's a lot easier to think about when it is not your loved one who will be put into harms way--without their consent and beyond their control. |
| Oh geez...I'm at a loss other to say that I'm so sorry. I hope the next election will bring some changes. |
 Sorry to read your news, Mrs. J. You both have made a brave contribution and it's time for someone else to follow suit. Best wishes for you both to find the right path out of your situation. Keeping fingers crossed! |
| i'm so sorry,
my daddy (can you tell i'm a daddys girl ) did 20 years in british armed forces. he signed up when he was 15 years old, did 6 tours of northen ireland and went to so many other places its unreal and lost many friends. half the time my mother was not allowed to know where he was she just had to hope he was ok. my parents didn't get a honeymoon coz he had to go to the gambia in 1978 and they were then posted to berlin. they have been married 30 years next month. fortunatley for me he was medically downgraded when i was 5 due to an injured knee which still give him problems so i had my daddy every day from then on. he got out the army when i was 10. but don't worry about your boys, i don't have any memories of my daddy being away (he missed me first words, steps everything) just memories of wonderful gift he would bring me home. i've lived in loads of different towns and even in germany for a while. there is always the worry they won't come home but try not to think about it. i worry for mr J, my dad doesn't talk about what he did in the army at all, not even to my mum. i do hope that he will be able to get out before he is redeployed. but with your love and the love of his boys he will be fine. heres to hopeing, wishing and praying for you that your family is not separeted again love zoe and einy |
tgir wrote: For those who support a draft, what is stopping you from enlisting? Are your children enlisted? Your spouses? It's a lot easier to think about when it is not your loved one who will be put into harms way--without their consent and beyond their control.
Both of my sons are in the military. One is in the Navy, he is 20 yrs old, and one is in the Air Force, he is 21 yrs old. |
| Oh my gosh Joah
Ive just found this post....Im so sorry!!!!!! Hopefully this year will bring changes, or a loophole will be found for you guys. You have definitely done MORE than your fair share already 
Damn. Even the selfish part of me that wants you guys to stay in Alaska is pissed off 
Give me a call if you want to vent, Im still kinda couch-bound, but I can listen.  |
| I can't even imagine how you are facing this with two little ones. It seems too much for one family to have to bear. I don't even know what to say. |
| Oh NO! |
| i just found your thread........ i'm so sorry for you and hope it has worked out.
You are STRONG however and I know you can weather it if he does indeed go back. ALi |
| OH MY GOSH! Can we sign a petition???? This can't happen! |
| Where do things stand Mrs. J? |
| It's too soon (from oct 1st) to know
Mr. J continues the search for a job outside of the military, but everyone who is getting out has been told to prepare for a stop loss. The question is... if they will move the date back because there's a chance they won't deploy until a few months after jan/feb which moves the cut-off to who is affected back. We have our fingers crossed! His Col is pushing hard for him to stay which doesn't help, but Mr. J is pushing hard to be moved to a different battalion that isn't deploying. So the stop loss won't apply to him ....no matter what. |
| Here's hoping he can get that transfer!! |
| I was thinking of this thread the other day - there is a movie called Stop Loss coming out - I wonder if it will put political pressure on the services to stop the practice? |
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