Online dating/making friends
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| I know ALL about online dating ...the good and bad. I used it for 7 years, and so remember how match.com exploded into the "it" way to meet someone when you have a busy lifestyle or looking for change. Back in the day, it was called classifieds2000.com
It was my main source of finding someone since I lived in the washington d.c. w/no car and had no friends with the same interests (being in the military ... you get stuck with some very different people living in the barracks). anyway, NEVER ...no matter how head over heels you get from someone's words meet someone w/o a RECENT pic. That's my #1 rule that people seem to never listen to and then cry "internet dating sucks." when asked, "what if they post a pic that isn't theres?" Well isn't the answer simple? You meet them at a public place, so if they're not who they say they are... tell them to kiss your rear and walk away. Simple. ALWAYS talk to them on the phone for awhile prior to meeting. If you have any sense/intuition about people, it weeds out the fake people. I find many people can fake the funk over an email they edited over and over, but if you take the time to talk to them for a few weeks or months on the phone, people become relaxed and their real personality shines (again, if you're not a naive idiot and always keeping alert) 
Question I always got: Why not just meet them in a normal place and it "IS" better than meeting on the internet.. My answer: Well, I don't find that to always be true at all. At a busy noisy bar, you can only have small talk and most of the time you're just nodding your head in agreement b/c you can't even really hear what they said. People always have their game face on to top it all off when out at those places. The positive is getting a real feel of the energy between you two, but they run no more or less of a risk of being an axe murderer than someone you took the time to get to know on the internet. My big thing is just get to know them and find out whether they are worth your time or not. If you're not willing to equally post a picture of yourself THAT IS RECENT than don't expect success. If you're expecting the first date to be a success than just give up now. How's dating off the internet working for you? It's taking you X amount of years since you started dating and you still haven't found someone, so finding someone off the net after 5 tries or whatever is unreasonable. I've gone out with more men than I have fingers and toes and while they may have not been "the 1" ............they were amazing times where I made some awesome connections. I've had 2 bad experiences that were pretty bad, but with the number of good experiences... it was all worth it. Did it work for me: I'm now married to someone I met off the internet when I lived 2 hrs away. Ironically not knowing where he lived or anything about him... he lived just a few houses from my PARENTS and my PARENTS had met him before I had even met him. So while I talked to him for 6 months before meeting, my parents had already had many conversations with him and knew everything he did since they had to drive by his house daily to get out of the neighborhood.  It was nice to have mom tell me what a cutie he was all the time, and to hear how he visited my mom at work before we had even met 
Good luck! I always preferred match.com over any other site. Don't get frustrated when you get no replies/responses.. SEEK OUT WHO YOU WANT. |
| My brother met his wife online - I don't remember off-hand if it was Match or Yahoo now. I think the key is to be completely honest about yourself and totally trust your gut. There are really good people out there but there are whackos too - so you have to make sure you know what you're getting.
(I didn't realize you moved to GA - I thought you were just traveling there for the holidays!) |
Joahaeyo wrote: my PARENTS had met him before I had even met him. So while I talked to him for 6 months before meeting, my parents had already had many conversations with him and knew everything he did since they had to drive by his house daily to get out of the neighborhood. Now I can't decide if he was e-stalking you or your parents played matchmaker. It was nice to have mom tell me what a cutie he was all the time, and to hear how he visited my mom at work before we had even met  |
| RDF, I have not officially moved to Ga yet, I am working down here though. I still have my job in Co and if I want it back I must be back in Co no later than mid/late March. I am really just looking to met people from the modern world. Just make some friends without having to out to a bar. I have met some people male and female but they are either married or a stick in the mud. Don't want to do anything except hunt. I 'm not really looking for a relationship but if something happened then fine I would go from there. The lady I 'm going to met in Va for New Years I new from Co. Not very well mind you but had talked before. I did see her pic and posted mine and sent her a message. So it's kind of cool. She moved to Va, close to DC about 4 or 5 years ago for a job. |
Ron wrote: Joahaeyo wrote: my PARENTS had met him before I had even met him. So while I talked to him for 6 months before meeting, my parents had already had many conversations with him and knew everything he did since they had to drive by his house daily to get out of the neighborhood. Now I can't decide if he was e-stalking you or your parents played matchmaker. It was nice to have mom tell me what a cutie he was all the time, and to hear how he visited my mom at work before we had even met LMAO........... 
Antoinette |
| I have never done match.com, but I did meet quite a few people from a chat room on AOL years ago.
I agree with Mrs J about the pictures. A current picture is a must.....and there must be more than one picture. I met one guy who looked nothing like the one and only picture he ever sent me. He was so cute in the picture he sent, which was a bit blurry. When I met him in person it was a total and complete let down. Mr Big and Buff was skinny and not at all buff. That and the fact that he acted very feminine and was whiney.  If he lied about those things, god only knows what else he would lie about.
So my advice is demand more than one picture and of course be careful. People have a tendency to lie to make themselves seem better...especially when it comes to looks. |
| My uncle and his new wife meet online and they are the perfect fit for each other. After his split with 1st wife and years of not being happy, what made him go on line no one knows but they a great together. |
| My brother has just recently started using the internet to meet girls. So far he's only used craigslist and has had good experiences with it. He's not into bars or that sort of thing, so it's hard to meet new people in general (whether or not for dating purposes), so he seems to be liking the internet option. |
| I didn't use a computer back then, but perhaps I would of. I didn't even own one, and Todd still doesn't use ours.
Instead we met at dog training classes. 24 years later, we are still together and still training dogs! |
| I met Carl online. While I had a great experience ( and we've been married 6 years this April) I have to say that you really need to be very very very careful. Just before I met Carl my cousin married a man she'd met online and it did not turn out well at all.
If you are looking for some friends close to you I'd recommend getting involved with some groups locally. Getting together with people that already have common interests (athletic events, church, book clubs ect. )would at least get you out there in a group setting (safer with less pressure on meeting that ONE person). I wish you all the best and hope that you are as lucky as I was in finding that special someone. |
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