Blues
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| AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, a subject near and dear to my heart......
I have NEVER liked Christmas. I would be quite happy to avoid the entire month of December. Now that my kids are grown and gone it's even worse. When they were home I at least tried to PRETEND I liked the holiday. Sighhhhhhhhh, it doesn't make us bad people. Just means we get a little cranky in December. It's one of the reasons I joined the Card exchange, THAT is the one thing about Christmas I really love. I do enjoy giving my children gifts but since they are many miles away I don't get to see them open them. I don't have much family, none close by , so have no real reason to cook a big meal. Doug and I usually spend a quiet day. His Mother is around so we do have to do something with her but I'm not especially close to her and don't really feel like she is family. Don't worry, it will be over soon! |
I go back and forth....I LOVE it...I HATE it...  I feel like such a spaz at this time of year!   |
ravenmoonart wrote: I go back and forth....I LOVE it...I HATE it...
I feel like such a spaz at this time of year! You're not alone in this! |
I'm not big on christmas either since kids and grandkids are all grown up and this year I'm just to worried about Don so haven't even started shopping yet, think they will all just get money  |
ravenmoonart wrote: I go back and forth....I LOVE it...I HATE it...
I feel like such a spaz at this time of year! I hear ya!!! |
| I think the problem with all you people is that you just don't get enough awesome presents from other people. I start my Christmas begging in March and, I'll tell you, I'm never disappointed. If anyone needs some coaching on how to properly orchestrate an effective begging and hint dropping program, let me know. I'll help. It's what I'm here for. |
ButtersStotch wrote: I think the problem with all you people is that you just don't get enough awesome presents from other people. I start my Christmas begging in March and, I'll tell you, I'm never disappointed. If anyone needs some coaching on how to properly orchestrate an effective begging and hint dropping program, let me know. I'll help. It's what I'm here for.
Much as I love Doug, HE SUCKS in the present department. Two Christmas' ago I got a George Foreman grill and since my children are still in the "crying poverty stage" and my Dad forgets it's Christmas it was the ONLY thing I got for Christmas. A couple weeks ago, for my Birthday, he gave me a 12 quart soup pot  I have NO IDEA WHERE HE COMES UP WITH THESE THINGS!!!!
Last year I took Three catalogs, Landsend, Coldwater Creek and Eddie Bauer. I marked pages, circles sizes and colors and gave him tons of items to chose from. He waited til the last minute, so of course nothing was available, and ended up getting colors I didn't like . I don't really want to ASK for something. I spend a lot of time and thought on his gift and try really hard to surprise him, it just doesn't seem as if it sould be so hard for him to be a little creative. So I need all the help I can get  |
| You could try: "Doug, Honey... What I'd really like is _______. Find one and pick it out for me, and something else would be nice too. Nothing that is food or cleaning related."
I mean if you don't train them, how will they know what you want when you say "go in your crate?" |
| Have you asked him, "Hey, why in the heck would you get me a soup pot for my birthday?" And, if so, what did he say in return? I think many times in life we hear "It's the thought that counts" but that does not apply to all situations, especially those situations that are continuously repeated for every holiday because, it becomes obvious the wrong thought is being had.
Why do I get the feeling that Doug likes grilled food and soup and maybe that's why you get those things? |
| Sounds like you need to start a new Christmas tradition!! Instead of the old stuff, try checking into a nice hotel, fancy dinner, out to movie or something, some exercise, another really nice dinner, (Yeah, I'm food based).....make it a little mini vacation. Or you could just go to Hawaii or Bermuda! Oh yeah, you work........well, see what unsual thing you can work out in time available. |
ButtersStotch wrote: Have you asked him, "Hey, why in the heck would you get me a soup pot for my birthday?" And, if so, what did he say in return? I think many times in life we hear "It's the thought that counts" but that does not apply to all situations, especially those situations that are continuously repeated for every holiday because, it becomes obvious the wrong thought is being had.
Why do I get the feeling that Doug likes grilled food and soup and maybe that's why you get those things? I don't want to seem ungrateful. I think he tries.......he just lacks imagination. Yea, he likes soup although the foreman grill was a BUST!!! I HATE it! But I'm not quite sure why he bought a VEGATARIAN a grill  |
| Toasted corn tortillas! |
| Veggie burgers? |
| Sorry, gifts that mean I have to work, are not gifts. My husband understands that and has tried to be a good gift giver, but it is a difficult guy task.
Five years ago he hit on the perfect solution! We both love to travel, so for Christmas every year he plans, schedules, and purchases a trip. The size and color is always right and I don't have to work. We did Ireland last year  that was a biggie, so it was Christmas and Birthday.
I'm not sure what this year will bring, but I told him I would LOVE to go to NYC in February for Westminster and see Wicked. I look forward to every Christmas. It doesn't matter if we are going somewhere big like last year or if we just drive to Jackson Hole and spend several nights in a great hotel together 
We are together and both have a great time...... |
| I love christmas and even though the kids are in their 20's now (go figure that one as I am only 21++++++++ ) I still love all that christmas means.
Presents don't worry me, I accept anything I do drop hints though
Just the thought of all being together on the day is special and last year when my youngest could not be there I had the blues but this year all of us are together, so bring on Christmas.
Christmas spirit, the joy of being together, family, friends and all that goes on beforehand, the shopping, the getting together with friends for drinkys, preparing the feast and the belly bulge after christmas dinner and the thought of never eating again. And the snooze on the couch after all the festive fare is eaten.
It only comes around once a year so enjoy HO HO HO. |
Tasker's Mom wrote: ButtersStotch wrote: Have you asked him, "Hey, why in the heck would you get me a soup pot for my birthday?" And, if so, what did he say in return? I think many times in life we hear "It's the thought that counts" but that does not apply to all situations, especially those situations that are continuously repeated for every holiday because, it becomes obvious the wrong thought is being had. Why do I get the feeling that Doug likes grilled food and soup and maybe that's why you get those things? I don't want to seem ungrateful. I think he tries.......he just lacks imagination. Yea, he likes soup although the foreman grill was a BUST!!! I HATE it! But I'm not quite sure why he bought a VEGATARIAN a grill Wait, how long have you been together? I think he can take a gentle explanation of what a good gift versus a bad gift is. Actually, better yet, have a girlfriend over and have her (within Doug's earshot) bring up some dumpy gifts that she's gotten, maybe like a Foreman grill. Or, maybe drum up a conversation with some of the other fire dudes and ask them what they're getting their women and offer critique (again, in Doug's earshot). That way it isn't an in-your-face "This gift sucks" but about the strongest hint he could get without being hit in the face with a frying pan. Or, in his case, a soup pot. |
| Can I just say I don't like everything that has to happen for Christmas. One, My dad died on Christmas day 3yrs ago. Two, calling and asking "what do you or so and so want for Christmas. Three, Going to wherever and fighting crowds to get so and so(just to find out its sold out). Wrapping 6 gazillion gifts and trying to remember what I just wrapped and who it is for and OH MY GOSH I FORGOT TO BUY FOR ___(fill in the blank). I do like getting together with the almost whole family(my sister, three kids and Mom live in Florida). Christmas is a feeding frenzy here when presents are handed out and paper flies and kids are yelling and that to me is the fun part...Simon's Mom, Pam(who is totally thoughtless and forgot to log in) |
| Christmas is not what it was when we were kids. I think it is more FOR kids than anything........... at least the commercial part of it is now more than anything.
The last 4 years have not been the greatest on the holidays......i was not looking forward to this year either. For the 4th year in a row, Norm is not able to come home from Iraq for the holidays But it has turned out to be very good so far. last week, my 2 neighbor little girls and thier mom and i went out to a Christmas tree farm. I thought we were getting THEM a tree....... but it turned out to be one for me........ then the next day ( i was dreading pulling out all the 'STUFF' and they came over and we decorated it and the house. Then we came to the shows............ the kids did great. But the best part, is that I have reconnected with my dad's family some i have never met....... we have spent time together and gotten to know each other. Tonight we went to their church services and the music and pagentry was wonderful (even if my 2 furkids were in it and angels!) tHE English handbells were out of this world..... I think it is a time to reflect what this season is about instead of all the hustle and bustle of shopping and wanting ....... at least i have.......... |
| After a few years of getting gifts that were rubbish (in some cases even made me cry ) I now write a list!!
I make sure the list varies but it makes for a much happier Christmas for everyone |
| I have had my shae of odd christmas presents from my husband. Fortunatley now my daughter reviews his plans and his shopping with him - and tunes it up if need be. I can't say I can understand why he ever asks for what he does for Chritsmas, so maybe I just don't get the Mars Venus thing.
But the one rule he learned early on and which is so inviolate he won't beak evenif I ask him to is - Wives dont get appliances from husbands as gifys for Christmas or birthdays or any other occassion!! |
Tasker's Mom wrote: Much as I love Doug, HE SUCKS in the present department. Two Christmas' ago I got a George Foreman grill and since my children are still in the "crying poverty stage" and my Dad forgets it's Christmas it was the ONLY thing I got for Christmas. A couple weeks ago, for my Birthday, he gave me a 12 quart soup pot I have NO IDEA WHERE HE COMES UP WITH THESE THINGS!Poor guy, I think he's HUNGRY!! 
And actually, the George Forman grill can be great for grilling things like asparagus and red peppers and other veggies...mmm I have to say...I LOVE Christmas. It's obviously different than when I was a kid, but I love that it forces family to get together (force in a good way--no excuses), I love all the colors and smells and songs..., I just love it all... |
| I really hate to sound like a "complainer", you know it's the whole "it's about giving not getting" guilt trip. I guess I would rather see a 99 cent gift that had thought behing it than an expensive "gotta get a gift" gift.
The best gift Doug ever gave me was for my Birthday one year, it was a nylon butterfly kite. I still have it and fly it. I heard a radio show not too long ago about how, for adults Christmas is aften about recreating experiences from Childhood. If, as a child, your holidays had good memeories you throw yourself into the celebration in an attempt to "recreate" those feelings. If on the other hand your childhood memories were not all that good it adds to the stress of trying to make a "different" experience. Christmas in my house, as a child, was always a very stressful time. My Mother was a "perfectionist" and it was all about the silver being polished and the crystal sparkling. The meal had to be perfect and we had to behave perfectly. Of course nothing ever met the expected standards so it was always just a stressful time. In trying so hard to overcome that with my own kids I most likely created for them stress of a different kind. After I was divorced my kids usually spent the holidays with their Dad, he had a large family and I didn't . It was actually a RELIEF not to have to worry about it!!!!! |
| My problem (for the last 2 years due to being too ill to work) is money. I know that sounds really selfish as I do have a roof over my head and a meal (nearly) every day, but these are provided for me by my dad & my boyfriend, they earn fairly good money but are both being very careful because of my money situation. I'm such a burden. For this reason I can't ask for anything because I know they are worried because I can't work and besides, they already pay for all my food, living and bills. I've taken to claiming to be on a diet or fasting just to save money or make a meal last 2 days.
I have a very small income of my own, but I barely break even with my outgoings and because I have been ill for 3 weeks now, am behind with my finances and have incurred HUGE charges I have no idea how I will pay. It's been this struggle that makes Christmas so hard. I used to love it when I had enough money to buy everyone something and get some good food in, maybe some wine too. I know money is not everything, I know I sound really selfish because there are millions of people worse off than me, but as far as Christmas goes, I am totally miserable and increasingly worried as my situation spirals out of control.
It really annoys me that we are expected to spend so much, there is alot of pressure to buy everyone something, which I just can't do
This year I would rather forget it & stay in bed. |
ButtersStotch wrote: I think the problem with all you people is that you just don't get enough awesome presents from other people. I start my Christmas begging in March and, I'll tell you, I'm never disappointed. If anyone needs some coaching on how to properly orchestrate an effective begging and hint dropping program, let me know. I'll help. It's what I'm here for.
You must be distantly related to my mother (does that make us distant cousins?) who starts dropping hints about her August birthday in January. The monthly and then weekly reminder cards are a nice touch...
My father doesn't understand why he gets his sorry packages of socks every year and my mom gets treated like a queen. It's all in the campaigning, baby
Count me in as part of the Bah-Humbug bunch. I mean, I do like a couple of quiet days with my dogs, but I hate, I cannot emphasize this enough, I hate December. Even the fact that I was born this time of year doesn't do a darn thing to make me like it any more. I've tried petitioning for twelve months of Octobers, but no one's buying the idea. Espcecially not my Mom!!!
Kristine |
We have considered traveling next christmas, but with a daughter in college, don't think we will have the money. It's not a matter of gifts, I can buy what I want when I want it. It's just that whats the point? When your kids are small, their the point. I don't want to forget christmas altogether either though. I've seen alot of old folks who don't even know when a holiday is and I don't want to forget the holiday. Sorry for listening, I'm sure this will pass.  |
| For me, the rough part of X-mas is the memories I have some wonderful ones, and some really horrible ones, and all the sights, sounds, and (especially) smells of the season are DESIGNED to trigger memory.
I don't normally think about the past very much...but X-mas just puts it all up in yer face!
The trick is to focus on the good stuff, and create as many new, GOOD, associations to go with the smell of evergreen, eggnog and pumpkin pie spice as possible. One wonderful cure for the holiday blues, I've found, is to involve my dogs in as much Christmas stuff as possible. Dogs are so pure and clean and all about the "now". |
Mad Dog wrote: ButtersStotch wrote: I think the problem with all you people is that you just don't get enough awesome presents from other people. I start my Christmas begging in March and, I'll tell you, I'm never disappointed. If anyone needs some coaching on how to properly orchestrate an effective begging and hint dropping program, let me know. I'll help. It's what I'm here for. You must be distantly related to my mother (does that make us distant cousins?) who starts dropping hints about her August birthday in January. The monthly and then weekly reminder cards are a nice touch... My father doesn't understand why he gets his sorry packages of socks every year and my mom gets treated like a queen. It's all in the campaigning, baby Kristine You hit the nail on the head! A successful campaign is the key to a successful holiday. You start early, prepare, lobby and work with the community to really get your message across and SUCCESS! Your mom sounds like an all right gal in my book! That would be interesting if we were related-- then both us and our dogs would be distant cousins then! |
Mad Dog wrote: Count me in as part of the Bah-Humbug bunch. I mean, I do like a couple of quiet days with my dogs, but I hate, I cannot emphasize this enough, I hate December. Even the fact that I was born this time of year doesn't do a darn thing to make me like it any more. I've tried petitioning for twelve months of Octobers, but no one's buying the idea. Espcecially not my Mom!!! Kristine Ditto |
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