Obituary for the Late Mr. Common Sense
______________________________ Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound human policies (don't spend more than you can earn, and adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year- old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. |
|
|
| Thank you Chris! I want a t-shirt that reads: Common sense ain't so common. |
| The reason nobody knew that Mr. Common Sense had passed is that all of the "news" outlets had become entertainment, and Mr. Common Sense hasn't had a sex video released against his will in some time.
His good friends Art of Compromise and Bi Partisanship had flown out the window, replaced by Pig Headedness and Fund Raising. Some say that part of the carnage could have been avoided if Lame Duck had a clue, or if the people would find a way to fight for their country and elect people who can do what is best for the country instead of their war chest. Unable to compromise to pass a bill on securing our country's borders during wartime, and they have the gumption to complain that the Iraqi government can't get anything done? |
Vote Ron for President. There's a wealth of wisdom on this site. Maybe we should all run for Congress.  |
| I don't know George, if our qualifications could get us past the bar.
It has been set so low and I for one am not as good as the average politician at limbo to get under it. |
George wrote: Vote Ron for President. There's a wealth of wisdom on this site. Maybe we should all run for Congress.
I like the sound of this! We could start our own party....then there'd be an elephant, a donkey, and a Sheepdog!  |
| Maybe just the Sheepdog, the symbold of herding groups together.
But maybe you're right-- a logo of the Sheepdog running around and herding the elephant and donkey together. Tough to pull that off in a logo now, but in the future even "paper" will be able to be animated. So what do we call ourselves? I think "The Shepherds" sounds too biblical. How about the "People's Party?" Ummm, no.  |
| "Wigglebums"? |
Or... The Bobtail Ballot!  |
| How about the "Common Sense Resurection" Party |
Didn't find exactly what you're looking for? Search again here:
Custom Search
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|