I am feeling sorry for myself (shame- shame -shame)
I have been having a time the last few weeks- I have MS and, while I normally just deal with the symptoms and go on, the last few days I have really been in a mood. The heat makes things horrible for those of us with multiple sclerosis, and Ohio has been hot and dry. My legs are numb and my arms and face tingle... that is no big deal- but today- I was meeting with a client- and I had what is called "racing speach"- which is very embarrasing 
I made some kind of dumb joke about my mouth not being able to keep up with my mind- but it was very stressful... Family keeps asking for favors- (babysitting etc) and I am so tired... my fault for not saying no! You know how it is- you wish people KNEW not to ask... again- poor pitiful me  My poor husband is getting the brunt of it...
Oh well- won't drone on and on. I've said my peace for now and will leave it at that. Tomorrow is a new day  |
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Here's a  for you . Hope your feeling better soon M.S. is a hard one |
| I'm sorry your having such a hard time. You are right, it would be nice if people just knew not to ask!! I hope tomorrow is a better day.
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| Everything looks worse when you are tired and with MS it is a "ten-fold" wammy! You HAVE to take care of yourself!! If you can't say "no" make yourself a sign....."I want to say yes but my body says NO!" lol
Hugs and sympathy |
| The hardest word in the English language is "NO". It took me more than 60 years to learn how to use it...
I always worried that people would not like me (as much?) if I did not volunteer for their request. After many years and a lot of medical difficulties later, I found that those folks who were asking me for help were really trying to "keep me busy" and "keep my mind off the medical problem". Too soon old and too late smart. Good luck! |
| NO is the hardest word to learn especially when you have been so well practiced in YES.
Eventually we get ourselves in such a bind we have to draw back totally. You may be at that point. Could you limit family favor to once a week? Otherwise you are going to crash! Maybe when cooler weather returns you'll be able to do more, but not now. Now go thank your husband for his patience. Surprise him. Maybe he'll start running interference for you from all the family invasions. |
| Joan and I just started saying "no" after many years. It's wonderful for me, she is having a harder time adjusting. |
| No Shame!!!
Lots of us have been hosting pity-parties here, recently....some (mine, for instance ) with much less cause!
My sister has MS, and I know that along with heat, STRESS can make the symptoms worse...so take care of yourself first, and come to us for sympathy all you like. |
| I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. My adult daughter has CMT, which is in the MD family...and goes through episodes where she is very tired, and the weather effects her. So I know what you mean.
The only person who knows how you are feeling is you and so you have to say in a kind way, as much as you would like to do the favor, you can't at this time. People do understand. You have to take care of You! I hope you start feeling better soon. |
No is the hardest word in the English language but you need to learn to say it more & put your self first for once with the family. I am now finally 
Lot's of these heading your way.
And start practising NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO etc etc etc  |
| Chronic illness is so difficult to deal with and those around you just assume because you look ok on the outside that things are ok inside. So as EVERYONE has already said, you need to take care of YOU. You can't take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself first. Set your priorities, know your limits and most importantly learn to sy NO without apology. |
 I'm sorry you are having a hard time |
| Ah, I love the forum...others who understand and can commiserate. I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch. I have fibromyalgia and this warm humid weather sucks for those of us with musculoskeletal chronic illnesses. With laughter from a new doctor, I have now classified myself as "a highly functioning dysfunctional". On the outside I look perfectly normal and most days as if nothing phases me; however, those close to me know exactly what is going on. Thank G-d for my wonderful Mom, husband, childhood friend who also has fibro related symptoms, and a ton of online empathetic friends with sheepies
The most difficult for me is the high expectations I carry for myself for others to like me. I do have two very unsympathetic family members who get angry when I'm unable or unwilling to meet their own high expectations of me. How best to deal with this, I have no idea....I hope to learn from all of you. Maybe as I get older, I just won't care as much. XOXO |
Stacy wrote: Maybe as I get older, I just won't care as much. XOXO
It's not that you wont 'care' its just you will realize that if you don't care for yourself first...no one else will either. We can't change others expectations of us....but what we CAN change is our reaction to them. Stacy, I'm sorry you have insensitive relatives.....I think all of us share that. |
| I'm so sorry things aren't going well!
Like everyone else said--take care of YOURSELF! My sister has MS and when she's having a bad time of it, she has learned that she can't do anything--that she HAS to know when to tell people no. |
| That sounds really rough! I hope you feel better soon. . . |
| I am sorry you are feeling so bad.
Here is a big for you!
I hope you feel BETTER and BETTER each day on from here!
Antoinette |
Carl's wife wrote: Everything looks worse when you are tired and with MS it is a "ten-fold" wammy! You HAVE to take care of yourself!! If you can't say "no" make yourself a sign....."I want to say yes but my body says NO!" lol
Hugs and sympathy I LIKE THAT!!! I think I will "delegate" the sign making to my husband
Thanks to everyone for their words of wisdom ( JUST SAY NO!!) and for all of the hugs and well wishes. This is a one of a kind group!
To all of you that have similar health issues- or family members that are coping- I send hugs and wishes for ONLY good days!! Lori |
| I understand completely...especially here in AZ where the heat is oppressive...I havent been officially diagnosed but do have most of the symptoms...right now my right pinkie and left cheek are numb and im having those horrible dizzy spells.....
Just remember to ask for help when needed and simple no/yes's do work wonders. Hope your symptoms pass with cooler weather... |
Hi, sorry you don't feel well I live in Ohio too. Hope things get better for you real soon.  |
Stacy wrote: I do have two very unsympathetic family members who get angry when I'm unable or unwilling to meet their own high expectations of me. How best to deal with this, I have no idea....I hope to learn from all of you. Maybe as I get older, I just won't care as much. XOXO
I know all too well about that.
My Dr thinks I may have MS on top of Fibromyalgia. So now I need to see a Neurologist. Oh, how fun!!! NOT!!! 
I had to move to a new position in a company I was working in a few years back because of racing speech issues. My job was helping to promote products. It didn't work very well when nobody understands what you are saying. Luckily that episode passed.
I have constant numbness on the top of my feet, the top of my hands and some on my face. I have major problems with short term memory. My memory issues have recently increased to the point I find myself crying a lot. Now I am not working... just had my SSDI hearing in June and am awaiting the decision. Ah, more stress.... lol |
to all. MS is a tough row to hoe! I also have a chonic illness (or two) that affects my ability to walk and stand. Numbness and tingling in the legs are old friends, so to speak. Hence Willoughby, my therapist! 
Re saying no: Do you all remember Inspector Clouseau? He's speaking with another man and a dog is at his feet. The man asks:"Does your dog bite?" Clouseau answers: "No, he does not". The dog then bit the other man who , holding his shin, says to Clouseau: "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite?" Clouseau answers: "Eet is not my dog!"
I'm learning to say "Eet is not my dog!"  |
| Nothing wrong with a good pity party! Hope you feel better soon. |
Pepsi's Mommy wrote: Stacy wrote: I do have two very unsympathetic family members who get angry when I'm unable or unwilling to meet their own high expectations of me. How best to deal with this, I have no idea....I hope to learn from all of you. Maybe as I get older, I just won't care as much. XOXO I know all too well about that. My Dr thinks I may have MS on top of Fibromyalgia. So now I need to see a Neurologist. Oh, how fun!!! NOT!!! I had to move to a new position in a company I was working in a few years back because of racing speech issues. My job was helping to promote products. It didn't work very well when nobody understands what you are saying. Luckily that episode passed. I have constant numbness on the top of my feet, the top of my hands and some on my face. I have major problems with short term memory. My memory issues have recently increased to the point I find myself crying a lot. Now I am not working... just had my SSDI hearing in June and am awaiting the decision. Ah, more stress.... lol I am sorry about the symptoms you are experiencing, and the stress. I empathize. Racing speach and short term memory loss were my first indications years ago. Didn't say anything at first- but as a trainer my secret was short lived. I remember sitting in my driveway trying to remember how to get to the grocery store. That happens frequently now- but I've learned not to be afraid to use my cell phone and call friends and family and ask them to "throw me a bone" with directions when I get "confused"
I have recently stepped back into a training role after recruiting for a few years-and it involves much travel. Who knows- I may end up on one of your door steps by mistake! 
All you can do is laugh... my nieces and nephews always ask if I am having a "spell"...
Lori |
Abuckie wrote: I remember sitting in my driveway trying to remember how to get to the grocery store. That happens frequently now- but I've learned not to be afraid to use my cell phone and call friends and family and ask them to "throw me a bone" with directions when I get "confused"
I have recently stepped back into a training role after recruiting for a few years-and it involves much travel. Who knows- I may end up on one of your door steps by mistake! All you can do is laugh... my nieces and nephews always ask if I am having a "spell"... Lori I got lost going to the store. I ended up in the parking lot across the street. I started to get out of the car and said.... Um, this is not where I was going. Many other incidents.
It is typical for me to go to the store for one thing I have to get. I end up coming home without what I originally went for.
If you can't laugh at yourself you cannot cope. |
| I didn't realize how many of us on the forum are suffering from chronic illnesses. I'm glad I can take part...I think Misery does love company
So many of us find comfort here as we can take participate on our own timetable. The only expectations are to love sheepdogs or other animals and to post pictures every once in a while |
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