My boy is gone & I'll never get over it
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| hi debbie
welcome to the forum,i'm so sorry to hear about your sheepie yes you did the wright thing wendy and gismo |
I'm so very sorry for your loss 
Making the decision to put a beloved pet to sleep is the hardest we will make, but also the kindest gift you can give at the end. I think too many wait for too long, it sounds like he was ready to go... We tend not to see their quality of life decline day to day, but your vet likely saw it more vividly and I think advised you correctly. It doesn't make it any easier though... but please don't beat yourself up, you did the right thing. |
| Hello!
I`m so sorry for you lost, bur you did everything right. You stayed with him the hole way. Try to think about all your good times together, and not focus on the last . You had over 14 good years together. And that's fantastic. Take good care. Lene |
| Thank you for your kind words. It's just that the house is soooooo empty. I miss his smell and crazy attention seeking demands, his slobbery through the night kisses and hugs and more than anything, I just miss being able to cuddle up next to him. I have his ashes home now but I'm not ready to scatter them yet.
Looking at all of your pictures makes me want another oes - not that he or she could ever replace him, but i need something familiar around this place - do you know what I mean? Debbie Shep's mama |
Shep's mama wrote: Looking at all of your pictures makes me want another oes - not that he or she could ever replace him, but i need something familiar around this place - do you know what I mean? Debbie Shep's mama I know what you mean, still miss them. A new can`t replace the one gone, but you will love he/she like you did with the other one. I know... Lene |
No you most likely will never get over it , the hurt will become more bearable but it will always hurt somewhere in your heart. 14 1/2 years is a very long time to love and be loved by a sheepie. Try to hold all that love and joy in your heart, it will help you to bear the pain of the loss.
I am so very sorry
A new one won't replace the old but it will honor your precious boys memory and give you a focus for your love and care. I am a big believer of getting right back on the horse as a way to help heal. |
| Debbie,
I'm so sorry about Shep. I know the pain you are feeling in your loss right now. Please know that you did the right thing, even though it was one of the hardest decision you have had to make. We kept trying new meds, etc. and so when the vet told us it was time we knew he was right just as yours did with Shep. Shep is very lucky to be loved so deeply by you. Take care. Annabelle's Mom (Debbie too) |
| Shep sounds like he was a really special boy, and you should be so proud that you helped him get through 14 1/2 years! I think you really made the right decision to let him go peacefully.
Maybe you can try fostering a dog and see how it feels to have another in your home? just a thought. sorry again for your loss, HEather |
| My first Sheepie was just short of 14 years when his body could no longer keep up with his desires. No more cat chasing, long walks in the woods, trips up the stairs to sleep with the children, stealing tools and toys to hide in his bed, all things that made his life complete. He needed help just to stand, and was carried outside to potty.
I could see the same bright light in his eyes that was there when he was a pup. But, more often, I could see a grinding sense of frustration and lack of understanding for the failures of his body. On bad days I could see the cloud that pain brought to his beautiful blue eyes. I didn't want to let that remarkable boy, one of the family, who had protected and raised my children, suffer because I could still see the light. I chose to send my boy to the bridge where he could once again do all the things that made him happy. His pain became our pain as we greived for his passing. Twenty years later he still lives strong and healthy, doing all the things he loved, in the heart of each of us. In fact, both of my son's, the one's he was in charge of, were talking about him last night, smiling and laughing about the walks, cat herding, and all the toys they found in his bed. 
You did the right thing, and it will hurt for a long time. |
| Debbie, sorry for your loss, you did the right thing for your boy. I had that decision 2 years ago with my 14 years old too. She is the one in my avatar. It's never an easy decision to make, but knowing your boy is at peace and young again is a decision that was made because he loved you for all those years and you loved him lots to let him go.
When the sadness subsides at little, special memories will always be there in your heart and mind of your wonderful boy. Thinking of you at this sad time. |
| I am so sorry to hear about Shep! Too many of us know exactly what you're feeling right now; just go back through the Rainbow Bridge posts. It's never easy to let a loved one go, two or four legged. When we get a pet it is with the knowledge that we will probably outlive him/her.
You did the right thing at the right time. If your heart wasn't breaking you may feel you didn't love Shep enough. Take comfort knowing he'll be waiting for you at the Bridge and he will recognize you when you get there. Time will ease the pain but will never erase the memories. |
| I am very sorry about your loss and also have had that huge hole in our heart when we lost our first sheepdog.
I hope you can find comfort in this forum and remember all of your happy memories. |
| We had to put our sheepie to sleep in 2005 due to cancer and the pain in the beginning was exactly as you described. You miss there particular personality and quirks. After several months we found a rescued sheepie that needed a good home and a lot of love. Not the same personality but we fell in love all over again. He will never replace Winston but there are days that I feel like Winston is looking down and laughing at the antics of the sheepies we now have.
Big Hug - you did the right thing and the humane thing. It is obvious your baby was well loved. |
| I am so sorry that you lost your beloved dog.
A little over a year ago, we lost our first OES, Merlin, just 2 months shy of his 14th birthday. Merlin died at home, with me brushing him. I am not sure that what we did was right and we did the opposite of what you did. Merlin had been declining for a year before his death, with increasing difficulty in walking. We even had him fitted for a doggie wheelchair, which bought him a few months of mobility until that became too much of a struggle for him. After that, he had to be carried. All of this was happening against the backdrop of the terminal illnesses of both of my parents. I was afraid that I was being selfish, not being able to face losing Merlin when I was losing my parents. The vet assured us that he wasn't in any pain and that we'd know when the time was right. Thing is, he was always happy to see us, always loved spending time with us, didn't seem to be in any pain, still ate and drank his water. He was brushed and bathed and loved every day. I hope that what we did was right, but to be honest, I am not sure. They say you 'know' when the time has come to say goodbye. I never saw that look that said please let me go. I only saw love and happiness when I stroked my beloved friend. I still miss Merlin very much indeed, despite having 3 other sheepies to keep me warm and occupied. I don't know if I did the right thing or not, but I do know that I tried my very best to do the right thing and that I loved him every second of his life. He loved us just as much, and perhaps that's all we can have. |
| You did the right thing by Shep!
He is now running around at the bridge, like a puppy. 
You have my deepest sympathies. |
| I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beloved boy. You have described very eloquently the feelings that many of us here have gone through ourselves. You absolutely did the right thing for Shep. Please remember that Shep not only loved you, he STILL loves you, and would certainly want you to be gentle with yourself. A very wonderful friend of mine told me that getting another dog (after the loss of my boy Spencer) was like taking all the love, and all the great things Spence taught me, and passing it along ...like a legacy. |
Deb, Iam so very, very sorry at the passing of your beloved Shep  I think you absolutely made the right decision. You probably won't ever get over his passing, but in time you will be able to put in a very special place in your heart, and go on. You will look back and remember all love you shared with that very special boy and smile. I hope you will start to feel better very soon. And just maybe you will find another sheepie who will steal your heart once again. Again I am so very sorry for your loss. |
| All I can say is I understand exactly how you feel, the lingering doubts. I had the same thoughts and feelings after we had to make the very hard decision for our big boy Jake. Time will help.
For me, I enjoyed being around other dogs, and I took every opportunity to hold and rub other dogs we came across in our travels, which was just about every day. |
| I am very sorry for your loss and know exactly how you feel.
My little girl Sara, a 10 pd poodle, has been gone for 2.5 years and it still is awful if I think about it enough. I had a terrible time with having to put her to sleep. I don't think the terrible sadness ever goes completely away. Our furbabies just do not live as long as we would like. I know we would like to think differently. I just know I gave her a good home and lots of love and felt she could not have had a better life. I also could never have imagined her in anybody elses care, especially if it was a bad home. We all know that no one can take care of our babies like we can. It sounds like Shep had a great home with loving parents and he could not have asked for more. You did your part to make his life great. We got another dog, actually two, because we are dog people. I know we will have to deal with the sadness again one day, but for now our kids are happy and have a good life. It breaks my heart to see mistreated dogs even if they just live outside all of the time. If you decide to get another dog, knowing he or she will not be around forever, at least he or she will know a happy and loving home and sadly, that is more than a lot of dogs will ever see. I am sure that Shep would want you to give another dog as good a home as he had. Bailey and Madison will never replace Sara, but they have their own way of wiggiling into your heart and it makes it easier. I am not meaning to preach, but I do know exactly how you feel. It hurts like heck, but you will survive. This board is a great place for support in difficult times. Again, I am very sorry for your loss. Eric |
| Debbie,
My heart is breaking for you and all the pain you are in. I am sorry for your loss and I understand because it was just one year ago that we lost our Mopsy. I know what you mean about them letting you know it is time to go. Mopsy absolutely did not want to go that day - she fought so hard to stand up four times and was crumpling to the floor in pain. But I made the decision that I, as her parent, knew what was best for her even though it was the worst decision for me. I could not go home for three days until someone was home with me because I could not bear to be in the house without her. But I wanted to share two things with you that helped me and I hope they will help you. That morning after we put her to sleep I made phone calls to several of my close friends to let them know. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle anyone inquiring after her and thought I would tell all those who knew her. When I said to my friend, "they are supposed to tell you it is time, but Mopsy did not want to go". She said, "Mopsy was never going to tell you that". I realized she was right! Our kids had grown up together the last eight years so she really knew Mopsy. She was basically saying that between her stubborness and because she was so happy she was never going to be the one to say it was time. It eased my pain a little in that regard to hear that. The other thing that helped was getting another sheepdog. The decision was easier for me because it coincided with a life changing time in our lives so I had planned ahead. We had gotten Mopsy when the boys were 7 and 10. We knew she was declining for a year and a half and since our youngest child would be going to college within the year, I knew we would get another dog when we lost Mopsy. I knew that I could not be without a "child" in our lives. The new dog needed to be different for me - thus I have my first boy and pirate (he has a gray patch over his right eye). But getting Harry was good for all of us - he has filled the void and given us a direction to focus the love that Mopsy inspired. He is his own crazy personality but he has brought back joyful memories of Mopsy, sometimes with his totally opposite behaviour. We only waited two and a half weeks between losing Mopsy and getting Harry but it helped to heal my broken heart. I apologize for this being so long but I am concerned for you. I truly hope this helps with a couple of things you are struggling with. Shep was a lucky boy. You will be in our thoughts. Take care. |
| Sheepie Mommy, Eric, Ron,Loried, Ravenmoonart and everyone else, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness. It really helps to know there are crazy sheepie lovers out there who know exactly how I feel. I have read your messages and they touch me so much because you all know the breed like me. There are very few oes around where we live just now. I am desperate for another but have promised my partner that we would wait for a year because he wants to travel and see the places we have missed over the years, because we wouldn't leave Shep in kennels or for longer than a week at a time. They are very tying but I wouldn't change it for the world - because what you put in you get back tenfold. Hopefully I'll work out how to get my photos on the forum then you can see my boy - because I have spent hours bubbling over everyone else's photos and wishing i had Shep back with me.
Thanks again, Debbie Shep's mama |
| Hi Deb
So sorry for loss You did the right thing! Its so hard.. Ellie my 1st sheepie was the same old age!!! Just sending you some |
| Debbie, I am SO sorry for your loss of your wonderful Shep. I too know exactly how you feel. When we lost our first sheepie (he was one month shy of his 16th birthday), I cried for days. I would get up in the morning, go in the bathroom and shut the door, and just scream and cry my eyes out. Buford was my kids' protector and he took his job very seriously. Even now, 12 years after losing him, I still cry when I think about his last trip to the vet's. But his memories live in my heart forever, and I will miss and love him forever.
My dear, sweet Drezzie is 13.5 yrs old, and I can see the dreadful day coming again. Her hips are failing her but the light is still in her eyes. When she gets standing, she still wants to play. When she's outside she forgets she can't run and tries to anyway. SO many memories of her romping with our kids in the snow or swimming in the pool (two of her favorite pasttimes), of her many kinds of barks and howls, of her devotion to us all. I SO dread the day, but I wouldn't trade the hurt I will feel for any of the time we've had with her. Shep will be with you forever. He will be with you as you train and love another dog, as you can use everything you learned with him on the new dog. And he will be happy, looking down, that you can use that love to help another sheepie. Your heart will heal but it will always ache. Been there, done that. But as you said, what you give, you get back tenfold. |
| I dont know if this will help but i lost Blaze on the 10th dec 06. It was the worst day of my life. I woke up that sunday morn and he had gone in his sleep. I thought having him put to sleep would have been hard but not having said goodbye either is sad...... I miss my boy boy so much just like you miss shep but coming on this forum has helped and i am now awaiting to bring another home.He is beautiful, wasnt too sure at first but i miss having one around, wont replace Blaze but fill a void.Did I mention we had 10 and a half wonderful years. I feel so much for you but Shep is waiting at rainbow bridge..... xx |
Shep's mama wrote: I am desperate for another but have promised my partner that we would wait for a year because he wants to travel and see the places we have missed over the years, because we wouldn't leave Shep in kennels or for longer than a week at a time. That's exactly how we felt. We lost our boy in February while on a cross country tour. Around August we started to think about another, and would up fostering for 4 months. Then we were without a sheepie from January till September when we got our current boy.
You'll know when the time is right. |
| I'm so sorry for your loss. I think it gets better with time. |
| I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your much loved Sheepie. Please know that I understand your pain, it is ALWAYS hard to say goodbye to unconditonal love but this was your last act of kindness for your boy. Time does ease the pain ... I still think of my childhood dogs and miss them. When the time is right another dog will come into your life. There is nothing like the love of a dog.
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| Wow, 14 1/2, that is amazing! You are a champion OES mom! You did a good job and we all know it.
I so know how you feel, and the feeling of letting him down is almost unbearable. I can say that soon, you will feel better and know that in his way he was ready to go over the bridge. I felt exactly the same way when I had to make the same choice last year for my sweet Tyler Joe. Nothing could console me, I felt exactly the same as you. I'm now okay that he is no longer suffering, because they do put on such a brave face for us, don't they? But it can not hide the fact that the quality of life they once enjoyed is no longer there and some times we need to help our sweetest children on the final journey. You did the right thing. I was devistated for so long, but one day I got a call from a friend that a big ole galoot was looking for a home and no one wanted him because he was so big. He found his way to us and I can only believe that Tyler Joe had a hand in us finding him.... I'm feeling your pain and I do understand, know you are not alone. Leslie, still Tyler Joe's mom |
| You did the only thing that could be done.
I have lost 10 OES over 40 years and I remember every one of them. I was devastated last year when my 13 year old Freddie died of old age and my 9 year old, Oliver, couldn't adapt and died himself, three weeks later. Both were dogs I had rescued at about a year old. I called someone I know at the northern California OES rescue group and in a few days welcomed another sheepdog, Charlie, into my home. Charlie is now 2. In fact, 8 of my 11 OES have been rescues. My advice? Contact your nearest OES rescue group and get on the list to take in a dog. There are sheepdogs out there who need a family who understands them. He won't replace Shep, but he (or she) will be a part of your family too. |
| Hi,
Yes absolutely you did the right thing and I'll share some thoughts with you. I really understand the pain and grief you are experiencing and the second guessing of yourself. I too went through it with Shaggy whom was aged 15. Some days she seemed fine and other days I knew her time was limited and I didn't want to be selfish. I did what I had to because I loved her...just as you did with your beloved boy. I've gone throught it numerous times but most recently three years ago when in the same year I lost my two cats, Fe'line and Oscar ages 19 and 21 and Shaggy aged 15. I still miss them and will never forget them and looking back I know I did the right thing ..again just like you did. You see, we were there with them in the end, comforting them and no doubt they knew we were holding them as they passed. What if? I always thought years later...what if I wasn't home..and Shaggy passed alone on the floor or worse if she was in pain and I wasn't there, as what had happened to one of my previous dogs. The quilt I felt has never subsided even 20 years later. Logically I knew I couldn't have helped it but emotionally I always wished I had been there. He shared 17 years of my life with me. He died alone in the basement as I wasn't home. I wish I could have been there holding him as he passed. It wasn't the case with Shaggy, the final minutes with me comforting her as I did with Feline and Oscar although very hard...were the best thing I could have done. So yes you did the right thing..sometimes what is the hardest thing we've ever had to do in our lives is because we do it out of love for them. It's apparent he lived such a wonderful life with someone who loved him very much. The grief I felt when losing Shaggy was so overwhelming and what helped me was the ability to help a rescue. Not to ever replace my beautiful one that passed, but to offer safety to another one that desperately needed a home. Somehow that seemed fitting and in some ways to honor her as she was irreplaceable but her love left me the ability to share my love of her breed with others. In time you'll return and post memories you've shared with Shep and while they may cause you to tear up - some will make you smile at his memory. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you Marianne and the boys |
| Yes, we were very lucky to have Shep for 14 1/2 years and I can now think about him and smile.....
Your words really help and something I saw on a pet loss forum did too and i want to share it with you guys who have also lost babies. It went that in the wild, animals do not show weakness, when ill, injured or dying. If they did, their predators would take them out quickly & easily. (I know this but in my distress I didn't think about it!) Therefore they hide most of the pain most of the time. So in a way, I feel that maybe it was Shep's time if I could only see the pain he was letting me see. I really admire those of you who went out and rescued sheepies and other dogs. I can't wait to have another in the house - it's just so empty. But we both work full time so a puppy would be no good just now - maybe a 4 yr + . Thanks, Debbie Shep's mama [/img] |
| Drezzie's mom - I so understand where you are right now. Hoping and wishing you had a few more years when you can see the truth is more like a few months. They drag themselves to their feet for us and make like there's no problem at all. I hope the time you spend with her is joyous and I am sure she knows how precious she is to you. I am thinking of you & Drezzie.
Debbie Shep's mama |
| Debbie:
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I cannot understand how hard it must have been to watch your sheepie go, but you did the right thing. As hard as it was watch him go, it would have been much harder on both of you for him to suffer through pain each day, just so you could be with him a little longer. He is in a much better and happier place now, so remember him jumping, running, and licking your face, because I'm sure that is what he remembers. Jennie |
| I am so sorry for your loss Shep's Mama! I too uttered the same words. As a matter of fact, I was so distraught that I said many things because I couldn't think straight and was just crazy with grief.
Looking at your pictures it is so clear the happy and contented life you gave Shep. A very happy sheepie I saw. All we can do is make the best decision you can at the time. I'm sure you did what was the best at the time and maybe that will become more clear over time. I hope you get another sheepie so the great love you have can help another dear one who will become special to you as well. I bet your Shep will have a hand in orchestrating that to happen. |
| Thanks Las Vegas Sheepie Lover - I'm sure he would and he'd be laughing all the way!! |
| I cried when I read your post. I know the pain your feeling exactly, the guilt of did I do right thing? I to had to make that decision to let my dog Possom go at 13 years old. The desperation I saw in his eyes when the vet gave the shot haunts me to this day. The grief experienced has no words. It has been 7 years since I let him go and I still get a lump in my throat at times when I think of him. The only thing that saved my sanity was Bam-Bam. It took me 6 months to finally accept getting another dog, but know now I should have done it sooner. It was really the best medicine I could possibly have asked for. Bam-Bam (OES) had some might big paws to fill, but he never gave up trying and has now earned that special place in my heart, right along side POSSOM.
The sun will shine again! |
| I know how it feels when you loose your loving dog, I just lost my Ellie two weeks ago and if she wouldnt have falling asleep in that night I was told from the vet that next day I would have to make the decision to put her down and in my mind I already saw her face and eyes when holding her and if I had to do that, it would have broken my heart too. But I know I would have done it, cause I could see by myself that Ellie was in a lot of pain and she couldnt even go up and/or wouldnt eat!!
So I can understand very much and I feel for you, I am still crying about Ellie and I know its very hard to "live" without you Sheepdog! Ellie always filled the room with her warmth heart and it felt "home". I am alone at home to (apart from my son!) but I also had in Ellie the best and closest friend I ever had and ever will have. It's very hard to let go! I feel for you and send you my thoughts!!! |
| Well, it has been 4 1/2 months since Shep passed over and although I am no longer the basket case I was, I am still astounded by how quickly I can tear up and cry (anywhere anytime given the time to think). I am now like a mother who has lost a child and who is thinking of snatching another woman's kid!! Crazy I know, but because I cannot have another dog at the moment, it's becoming all-consuming.
When I am being reasonable, I know it is not the right time for another dog (work full time & no-one at home all day) but I am obsessed about getting another. I have even gone around the breeds and decided and then changed my mind about which I'll have when the time is right - and all I am doing is driving myself crazy. My partner is dead against it because Shep was such hard work for the last few years and he missed out on a lot of travelling etc. but there is a part of me that belongs in the wild with the animals and until I am sharing my life with one of them, something will always be missing. Glad I came back to the forum again - strange but I've been dreaming a lot about Shep - that took quite a while to happen, but it's great - like he's around me again. Take care all of you nearing the rainbow bridge - my thoughts are with you and your beautiful babies. Debbie Always Shep's mama |
| Hi again Debbie,
Good to know that you're healing. Time does help. It will continue to get easier. |
| I know exactly how you feel. It'll be three months tomorrow since I lost Abbey. I am coping reasonably well, but I don't want to just settle for "coping" (or rather, coasting) through life. I want to experience the joy I felt every single day with Abbey. I don't care what else good is happening in my life, I definitely feel a void without her. But I know I'll need at least a few more months before I can think of getting another OES (due to short-term work/travel commitments). I still feel a guilt over having no way of making her last moments of discomfort go away...I miss her so much, that I feel that healing is bittersweet. Like if I feel better that means I am that much more distant from her memory....If that makes sense.... |
Abbeybear wrote: ...I miss her so much, that I feel that healing is bittersweet. Like if I feel better that means I am that much more distant from her memory....If that makes sense....
It does make sense....and I felt much the same way after losing my boy Spencer (9 months ago, now)...but it really isn't like that! Rather than feeling distant from him, the healing Ive had has allowed me to think about him more. I can think about, and my husband and I can even talk about, the funny goofy things he did, and not just focus on the painful last few days of his life. It takes a lot of time, and I STILL have "bad Spencer days", but it REALLY feels good to smile and laugh when I look at his photos now, or tell stories about him. 
Abbybear, and Shep's Mom, your stories have been so touching to me...thank you. |
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