Back to normal...
Last night Tony and I went for an early dinner (around 5) only to find out everyone else in Chicago went for an early dinner, so they could get home and watch the Bears take a beating. We got out of the restaurant at 8, and came home. I went to bed around 10 (don't laugh!), but did wake up at 11 to see the ball drop in New York. We had a very good holiday season, but I'm looking forward to getting back into my routine. So...I just want to wish you all a very happy 2007! And now back to reality!!!! |
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| Thanks Deb, Happy New Year to you too!
Back to reality: I have a whole house to undecorate and none of my clothes fit.  I am not ready for reality.  |
| I "put Christmas away" on Sat and was glad to see it OVER!! It was a less than stellar holiday for me this year. I'm blessed with a great guy and two wonderful four leggeds so I'm trying to focus on the positive.
Anybody else out there with thoughtless children WONDERING who exactly it was that raised them???? We went out for Chinese last night and then came home early to bed. This morning I woke up and found that some kind of SMALL CRITTER had been chewing on my under the counter garbage bag So we are off to Lowes for traps today. Happy New Year  |
| I too am glad the holidays are over and life can move forward again. I have been looking for employment here in Jackson for the last 4 months, nothing so far. My husband and I moved here in July and it seems like the instant we moved into Michigan the unemployment rates for the state went sky high. I am told that for every job that is open in this county there are a minium of 150 to 200 people applying. So I keep trying to find a decent job and try to keep my spirits up while I look.
Looking forward to actually meeting Duke our rescue dog, just waiting for all the details to be worked out. The waiting has been hard but we know he will be a wonderful dog and we are so grateful for the hard work of everyone associated with his rescue. Lots of new things to look forward to in the year! Hurray!! |
| Yea, I'm glad the holidays are over as well. There's always too many family expectations and pressures. We enjoyed a wonderful fondue restauant with another couple, then went back to their home to relax. It was a nice evening. Foz has a New Year's play date with Odin this afternoon. I always feel so guilty that my Mom doesn't have much to do, but I really need to live my own life sometimes. It's tough... |
| I took down Christmas decorations yesterday. The house seems so much bigger! I really like the whole holiday season, so I'm a little sad to see it over, but it's always good to move forward, and we have a LOT going on in 2007, so I'm just ready to see how it plays out!
Oh, and Ginny, people always say how self absorbed and rude and thoughtless teenagers are, but for many people that continues well into the early 20s. I'm sure you raised wonderful children...they just need to snap out of themselves (which they will). |
| What's the old song about children:
..."why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way. What's the matter with kids today?" 
If my parents only knew...but thank goodness they still don't. |
I'm both glad and sad to see the holidays be over.  I decorated later than usual this year so it didn't feel like it was time to take it all down already. It's always so depressing for a day or so to see the house so empty again.
Back to the salt mines tomorrow, after having 2 weeks off. Ugh. I thoroughly HATE hearing the alarm go off at 6 AM, so I'm already dreading that. But I have to look on the positive side and realize just how great it was to be off these past 2 weeks, so now life just goes on. |
Tasker's Mom wrote: I "put Christmas away" on Sat and was glad to see it OVER!! It was a less than stellar holiday for me this year. I'm blessed with a great guy and two wonderful four leggeds so I'm trying to focus on the positive.
Anybody else out there with thoughtless children WONDERING who exactly it was that raised them???? Change that to 3 wonderful four leggeds and that's me. Ugh, kids  we found out at Thanksgiving that Brendan is getting married on Jan 20, right after Christmas and no time to prepare. The brides sister was giving the shower, until last week when it became MY shower to give and it's this Saturday  If I was a drinker I'd stay drunk until the whole thing was over |
I've still got my decorations up  , cards still coming in, so extended christmas  , I am glad though the rush before christmas and on the day is over for another year.  |
| I hate to take the stuff down. I only put it up the last 2 weeks before Christmas. Now we actually have 10" of snow, so it LOOKS like Christmas outside! |
bestdogsx4 wrote: Tasker's Mom wrote: I "put Christmas away" on Sat and was glad to see it OVER!! It was a less than stellar holiday for me this year. I'm blessed with a great guy and two wonderful four leggeds so I'm trying to focus on the positive. Anybody else out there with thoughtless children WONDERING who exactly it was that raised them???? Change that to 3 wonderful four leggeds and that's me. Ugh, kids we found out at Thanksgiving that Brendan is getting married on Jan 20, right after Christmas and no time to prepare. The brides sister was giving the shower, until last week when it became MY shower to give and it's this Saturday If I was a drinker I'd stay drunk until the whole thing was over You have my sympathy!!!!!!!!  On a positive note, the less notice you have the less time you have to stress over it (I know, same amount of stress in a shorter time period). I thought when my son got married that his wife would make him more thoughtful, NOT SO. Still no call on my birthday, Mothersday or Christmas gift  I think next year I am going to seriously reconsider my "gift list" |
| We put away our decorations Saturday. It doesn't look as frantic in the house now. But, I still haven't taken down all the wonderful cards we received. I guess I'll do that this week. |
| My decorations are staying up until February. My nephew's wedding is the 20th, out of town, so I won't have time until it's over. Anyway, it's so gloomy that I like all the lights.
I'm not sad the holidays are over. They were very different this year, with mom being in the rehab place. Different, but still nice. I hate January. |
Tasker's Mom wrote: You have my sympathy!!!!!!!!
On a positive note, the less notice you have the less time you have to stress over it (I know, same amount of stress in a shorter time period). I thought when my son got married that his wife would make him more thoughtful, NOT SO. Still no call on my birthday, Mothersday or Christmas gift I think next year I am going to seriously reconsider my "gift list"No Christmas gift from your son and you didn't say anything????? I would have been LIVID and he would have known it!! My brother was always a bit "disorganized" for special days, too - until one year when he forgot Mother's Day. My mom got on the phone to him the next day and reamed him a new one. Told him that no matter whatever else he did in life, he had better not EVER forget Mother's Day again! And he never did. |
Drezzie's Mom wrote: No Christmas gift from your son and you didn't say anything????? I would have been LIVID and he would have known it!!
My brother was always a bit "disorganized" for special days, too - until one year when he forgot Mother's Day. My mom got on the phone to him the next day and reamed him a new one. Told him that no matter whatever else he did in life, he had better not EVER forget Mother's Day again! And he never did. It just doesn't seem like you should have to ASK for a gift from your kids....... the adage about "it's the thought that counts" is really true. A gift from the dollar store that say's I love you and I'm thinking about you is just as treasured as an expensive gift. I went all out for the kids this year, got them a COMPLETE set of Calphalon cookware, and two place settings of their stainless (which came from Tiffany's), a complete set of towels (including 2 bath sheets, 4 bath towels 4 hand towels and 4 wash clothes), and a framed print by an artist they love. They didn't even call to say thank you or that they were pleased. I called on Sat to see if the gifts were ok . I just don't "get it". |
| They didn't even CALL to say thank you?.....Um Ginny....that is just RUDE.....I would have a talk with my son if it were me.
And yes....next year I would not be killing myself getting all those gifts for them.... I'm sorry Ginny.... that your kids were such a disappointment to you over the holidays....We love you  |
| I REALLY need to get over it and stop feeling sorry for myself. I have a WONDERFUL guy who put up with my moping all through the Holiday and never once said ENOUGH with the pity party. I am blessed with a job I love and patients who are devoted to me, I am HEALTHY and have Tasker and Ty to give me constant adoration. SOMEDAY, my kids will grow up and think about someone other than themselves, til then I'll just come here to whine
I am a HUGE knitter and this morning I found several different charities on line that accept afghans, baby blankets, chemo caps etc. So I've decided that this year instead of knitting things for my kids I'm going to start knitting for charities  |
| Ginny, what a great idea! I'm actually going to a party Saturday afternoon, and there will be a woman there teaching us to knit! Don't let the kids get you down. If you want to get them all that great stuff, and it makes your heart happy...do it. Kids get involved in their own world. They will come around one day! |
debcram wrote: Ginny, what a great idea! I'm actually going to a party Saturday afternoon, and there will be a woman there teaching us to knit!
WHAT FUN!!! Let me know how you make out. I am not a "great" knitter, I stick to simple patterns and have never done anything REALLY complicated. Some day I'd love to do something exciting like a fai isle sweater but that may have to wait for retirement. I did crochet for many years but REALLY love knitting. |
| Maybe they know about your disdain for the holidays and figure that you're just patronizing their celebration by sending a gift. Maybe they don't want to irritate you with holiday "stuff" by calling you or sending something.
Or maybe they're just inconsiderate. |
| Okay, I wasn't going to say anything, but looking at it from the other end of the stick...
I know you are are disappointed, Ginny, but is it possible that your kids want to create their own tradition of not giving gifts? Maybe it's their way to open to the door for something else, but you won't know until you ask them. It might be that they don't want to have one particular time of the year to "acknowledge their love" for you. Maybe they want to show their love in other ways throughout the entire year. I know that the holidays aren't as important to me as they are to my Mom. I know that the reason is that I believe a nuclear family should celebrate together. The combined family thing was always just too much for me. I know that the expectations of me during the holidays has always been very high and the pressure has just gotten to be too much. I've been pulled in so many directions and expected to give gifts. Well, guess what? I'm tired of doing it and I now want to celebrate the holidays in a way that works for me. That means minimal gift giving and donations to charities I care about. So, that being said, we did get our Mom's small tokens this year; a mug with Fozzie's picture on it for my Mom and a plant for my MIL. I have told my Mom before that she better be prepared that if she doesn't give me an idea of what she'd like for holiday/bday, she gets nothing . I know it sounds selfish to some, but searching or even thinking about a gift gives me stress.
I told my Dad this year...no presents. We actually abided by this as I don't think he likes to give gifts either. Consider the $10 gift card he gave me for my bday. I would have preferred nothing. |
| I am sorry Ginny. I think the important thing is that you make peace with the situation once time has gone by. You were right to be hurt but when you are ready deal with it in the way that will give YOU peace of mind. If that means saying something to your son rather than letting it fester do so. If you are content with not saying anything but choose not to give them quite so much next year that is good too.
But you are definitely right to feel hurt. So let your feelings play out and then give yourself the gift of peace of mind. Whatever that is you deserve it - YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. Take care. |
| http://www.snugglesproject.org/
Ginny, here's another gorup that would love knitted and crocheted blankets. I have no affiliation; I just found this while surfing. |
Stacy wrote: I know you are are disappointed, Ginny, but is it possible that your kids want to create their own tradition of not giving gifts? Maybe it's their way to open to the door for something else, but you won't know until you ask them. It might be that they don't want to have one particular time of the year to "acknowledge their love" for you. Maybe they want to show their love in other ways throughout the entire year.
Well, my son did tell me he gave his wife a very expensive camera for Christmas so if they aren't giving gifts it's only to others. |
| lol....sorry, i had to laugh Gin...but that was a good one...maybe you should forward these posts to him to let him know how dissappointed you were....... |
Paula O. wrote: http://www.snugglesproject.org/
Ginny, here's another gorup that would love knitted and crocheted blankets. I have no affiliation; I just found this while surfing. That looks great!! I did find some sites on the lionbrand site that is looking for dog and cat blankets, I've bookmarked this site. |
| I have a brother and soon to be ex sister in law who my parents send gifts to their kids all the time (out of state) and never even get acknowledged that anything had been sent to them. My parents don't really care about being thanked, they would just like to know whether or not the gifts had actually arrived. They would call and ask Did the gifts arrive? And only then would they say Yes. Not even Yes thank you. So my parents have GREATLY reduced the frequency of gifts they give to their grandkids now...They are just oblivious and inconsiderate people.
Ginny, I think it sounds like they are just self absorbed right now, and aren't purposefully slighting you, not that it makes it any better. I would mention it to your son. Just say something like I know I never really ask for anything specific for Christmas, but it would have been nice to have gotten something, just to show you were thinking about me. Don't mention the huge amount of gifts you gave them so you don't sound like it should be I gave you this so you should give me that...but just to have him know that you were hurt by his oversight. I know in my relationship I tend to be the one who remembers things (birthdays, dates, giving gifts, etc), so maybe he relegated the gift to his new wife who forgot... |
| Gifts should be just that, "gifts". I don't believe that a gift should ever be given with the expectation of something in return. So part of the "big" picture is adjusting my own expectations of what the holiday is.
There is so much commercial and media hype around the holidays that it is no wonder that we don't all look for that "Hallmark" Holiday then feel a bit let down when it doesn't happen. No matter how hard I try not to I always fall for the hype just a little. My son is a great kid, he has worked hard, had a good job and is a productive member of society. He's healthy and has a happy marriage and a happy life. That alone should be enough to make me smile at the Christmas. I just need to get MY priorities in order
and realize that once in awhile a little whining is good for the soul |
Tasker's Mom wrote: Gifts should be just that, "gifts". I don't believe that a gift should ever be given with the expectation of something in return. So part of the "big" picture is adjusting my own expectations of what the holiday is.
There is so much commercial and media hype around the holidays that it is no wonder that we don't all look for that "Hallmark" Holiday then feel a bit let down when it doesn't happen. No matter how hard I try not to I always fall for the hype just a little. My son is a great kid, he has worked hard, had a good job and is a productive member of society. He's healthy and has a happy marriage and a happy life. That alone should be enough to make me smile at the Christmas. I just need to get MY priorities in order and realize that once in awhile a little whining is good for the soul Ginny, Stacy gave you the viewpoint from the child's perspective, now I'll give you mine from the parent's perspective. You originally said you didn't get anything - not a gift, a card, or even a phone call. I'm sorry, but no matter how good a person your son is (and I'm sure he is one), that's just plain rude. A "Merry Christmas" phone call is not too much to ask. If he wants to start his own "no gift" tradition, he needs to tell you that. And if that's what he wants, he needs to return your gifts. My son can be that way, too. He depends on my daughter to remind him of events. He's a good kid too - good job, independent, contributing member of society. Doesn't mean he's not forgetful, or a bit selfish at times. He forgot our 30th wedding anniversary last year and I went ballistic. Told him if he had to tatoo the important dates on his arm, so be it, but he was to never forget an event again. Told him he had hurt us, and after all we've done for him, that was unacceptable behavior. At the very least, we expect phone calls. They're in their own little world at this point. Chronogically an adult, emotionally still somewhere in-between. Sometimes they still need reminding. JMHO, for what it's worth. |
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