Should I be hurt by this???
I work in a department of 10 people. The library (me) is on the first floor and the rest of my co-workers are on the second floor. This morning we had our weekly staff meeting and one my co-workers passed out little gifts. To everyone EXCEPT me. I don't know if she did it intentionally, or forgot me because I'm not in the same area and "out of sight out of mind." I don't need her little gift but obviously she doesn't think that I'm part of the department. Or she has absolutely no manners. I want to be a bigger person and not let this bother me. But it does. I think it's time for a smoke break. |
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| I absolutely understand why you are hurt!!!! But just keep telling yourself it's HER deficiency and thoughtlessness NOT YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| If you have weekly staff meetings, then she's a moron if she doesn't realize that you're part of the department. And she's very insensitive to choose that moment to pass out her gifts, she could have handed them out upstairs and you wouldn't have known. Did your manager realize that she excluded you? You might want to mention it.
Look on the bright side, though. I'll bet you got WAY more holiday cards than she did.  And she's DEFINITELY not worth having a cigarette over! |
She's obviously a moron  and rude to boot 
If she didn't want to give everyone a gift she shouldn't have passed them out at the meeting. I recall learning this piece of general ettiquette in second grade...if not earlier. I wouldn't say anything about it to anyone at work. It will make her look bad, but could also make you look "whiny." They probably all noticed it at the meeting and already are talking about her behind her back. |
| RUDE RUDE RUDE! What the heck is wrong with people? I know we're not supposed to take things like this personally, but how can't you? I'm upset right there with you. If she didn't intend to give you a gift, she should at least have been discreet about it. I'm so tired of people and their rudeness... |
| TOTALLY RUDE! Of course, your feelings would be hurt. Not to mention the ackwardness of being there and being excluded in front of everyone. She showed a complete lack of common sense.
Sorry that happened to you. |
| Brainstorm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe you should get together with MRs J (find the post about her neighborhood POOOOO problem). Collect the neighbors pooo wrap it up and give it to your copworker!!!!!!! 
Ok , MEAN, I know not in keeping with the spirit of Christmas |
| It is very difficult not to be hurt by this moron's lack of manners. I think you should be the better person and just ignore the whole incident. Easy to say this advice and very hard to live it - I know this kind of thing has happened to me in the past. Cheer up and remember you are loved by a sheepie and they are the best judge of character that I know. Best wishes, Martha |
| try to tell your self your lucky she excluded you, I wouldn't want her for a friend anyway. |
| Thoughtlessness can be hurtful, and I'm sorry that happened to you.... but I would say ignore the whole thing too... she's not worth being upset over the holidays for... |
| Have you given any gifts at work? If not, I would wrap up a
little gift for everyone, and when you hand hers to her, say "For you" and smile very sweetly. Her mistake should be clear at that point. It could have been an oversight, so don't take it too personally. (I think a small bag of cookies or chocolates would be perfect) My mother always told me to 'kill them with kindness' and usually it does the job. I know it isn't the right reason to give a gift, but think of it as you feeling sorry for her that she must have been having a very senior moment. Shellie |
| I still think poop in a bag would be a good idea!! |
| Paula,
I am sorry that happened. That was totally rude of that woman. Especially handing them out at the meeting when she didn't have one for you.  |
| Oh, I'd be so sad even if the gift was a cup of candycanes! That was VERY RUDE especially if it wasn't acknowledged by her right away. If it was an error on her part, and she apologized, then I think I'd understand. |
That was very rude. I'm sorry.  |
| Man!!! That is sooo rude!!! Did she even say she was sorry?!!?!! If I wasn't buying a puppy, I would soo send you something!!! That was not cool of her!!
Nic |
| I think it IS rude!
I would make cookies for everyone and wrap them up all pretty and go up to their department and announce loudly, I have treats for EVERYONE in OUR department... |
wow that really stinks. You should go get her a gift at the dollar store. It sounds weird, but it will make you look like a saint and her like a big ol donky ass! plus it makes you the bigger person and i truley believe some time we will be rewarded for our good deeds. maybe not in life bu sometime.  |
| And here is the update. Mind you, I planned what I was going to say because I knew this would happen.
Co-worker comes to me this morning and says "I feel bad. I forgot about you. When I was making the list of people, I went desk by desk and since you aren't on this floor, I didn't think of you. So I made you a special box of treats." I looked at her and said "thank you," took my treats and walked away. I did not say "oh, it's o.k" because it isn't. I didn't say "don't feel bad" because I'm glad she felt bad (she did have tears in her eyes). I FORGOT ABOUT YOU???? YOU DO NOT SAY THAT TO SOMEONE!!! The treats look good and I'm going to save them for Christmas Day. (who am I kidding? They'll be gone by the weekend). |
| Yes, it was a bit lame but at least she did the right thing and made it up to you. It had to be embarrassing for her so you have to give her a few points for making it right.
And you have treats! Always a good thing  |
| At least she flat out admitted that she was wrong. Were the treats bigger and better to make up for it? |
| Well, at least she admitted it. At the first company I worked for, I changed jobs and floors after the first year. All the women I went to lunch with every day (like 8 of them) forgot about me, literally. No more lunch dates, no more bday or holiday gifts..I was so upset and disappointed.
There was one person who didn't forget about me....STEVE!  |
| Hi,
It's really hurtful being left out , no matter what our ages and even tho we can logically deal with it, emotionally still hurts. Being told you were "forgotten about" doesn't really make up for it either. Still she did make amends and that was a good thing. Marianne and the boys |
| Marianne, you captured my feelings exactly. What she should have said was "I forgot to give you your gift on Tuesday" and left it at that. Oh well, I'm a big girl and I'm over it. |
| Oh Paula, some people are just jerks. They don't necessarily mean to be jerks. But they just don't use their heads. I love you! Poop on her! |
| Maybe you should invite her out to ride Bob and he could buck her off. (Sorry, thought one more little jab wouldn't hurt! ) |
| Maybe, she should invite her out for a holiday dinner (on Paula, of course) and stand her up! HA HA HA HA (I'm basically ever mean ) |
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