Neat Idea for Parents of Teens

I was talking with a friend of mine recently and she and her husband recently bought their first house.

Her husband Matt lived with his parents on their farm until he was about 24. From the time they were 18, all the kids in his house paid rent to their parents. Not a large amount, maybe $300 per month (a 1 bedroom apartment is typically $800 or more per month) and they were always very strict about collecting rent from their kids.

The kids whined and complained but little did they know: their parents were putting that rent money away in a special savings account - 1 per kid. When Matt was getting ready to buy his first house, his parents told him about his savings account - and that money was his for a downpayment on a house. Matt's younger brother still lives at home and whines about paying rent but has no idea that when he's ready to buy a house, there's a decent sum of money waiting for him to help out his downpayment.

I just thought this was a really cool idea, and thought I'd share it with you all. I've never heard of anyone doing this before, and what a surprise when Matt realized what his parents had been doing for him all those years.

Only works if your kids live at home past 18 - which I hope mine don't. :twisted:

Respond to this topic here on forum.oes.org

I think it's awesome to set money away so your kids could have a down payment on something they will need esp. when many people go into things with very little/nothing....

I'm pretty sure if I told my 18+ to pay rent, they would move out and find roomates. :lol:

Most of my friends would rather have 8 people living in a small house while going to college than live with their parents.

I don't have a problem with our kids living at home while they're going to college though if we live near where they want to go.

edit: okay, I think I replied before you added the last line. So I fixed mine.

Joahaeyo wrote:

I don't have a problem with our kids living at home while they're going to college though if we live near where they want to go.

Totally agree there. It makes sense for them to live at home while going to college/university if school is nearby - saves a ton of money! I'd strongly encourage them to live in Residence for the 1st year though (help out with $ if needed), because it's such a part of the school experience...

We're going to encourage our kid to go to West Point/Air Force Academy or where my husband went New Mexica Military Institute. While I agree kids should get the full school experience, ...not my kid if we can help it. :lol:

Many kids fail out of school their first year because they've lost so much of their structure that was enforced while living at home. Others typically do bad the first semester, learn their lesson, and then do better after that.

Either way...
ours will live at home the first year since we want them to attend a community college first. Then he/she can decide where they want to attend and live.

Or they can go to a military school where they live there, but still are forced to keep some structure. These are rules my husband and I have already set if they want any of our money. If they can make it w/o our money, then they can do whatever they want.

L, your hubbie went to Nmmi? My college boyfriend graduated from there.....although, honestly, it didnt help him any

Wouldn't it be odd if they knew each other? When did he graduate? When I met him, he knew my parent's next door neighbor ...and practically everyone that went there that he works with now. I like meeting them because then I get to ask if they have any trash on my husband. :lol:

I want to say my husband graduated 96 or 97, but he would know those above him by at least 2 years since they probably bossed him around. :lol:

hmmm, he either graduated in 1986 or 87....david beer...

What a name to have there. I know he had to get grilled his freshman year there. :lol:

No, there's no way they would know each other. Was he older than you?

no...younger

I just thought you were in you mid 30s; my husband early 30s. So I didn't think ther would be too much of a difference in when they graduated esp. now if you say he was younger. Then again my husband went to 4 schools and spent several years too many in school so I could have my dates wrong. :lol:

***sigh***

No L, I am in my LATE 30's....Ill be 39 on the 7th of Nov...dont forget to vote

hehehe

Well, you look MARVELOUS.

sorry for hijacking the thread. back to the topic.

My parents did the same thing. I paid rent from the time I graduated college. When I got married my parents gave me the money to use toward furniture for my new house. The husband didn't last very long but I still have that furniture :wink:

Actually, I did this with one of my sons, and should have started the account earlier. He wasn't (and still isn't) particularly responsible with his money, so I have a small, secret account for him for when he needs it. I

Should any of my other kids live at home and not be enrolled as a student, I plan to charge them rent. Same principle: put it in a savings acct. earmarked for their future needs.

Bailey's Mom wrote:

That is a great idea! I paid rent too, and it was a learning experience.
I have to say I wish they taught these sort of things at school,
in the higher grades, and that is was manditory. Sometimes when
these things come only from home the child is reluctant to "get it".
If they were only taught some of the basic financial stuff like
everyday budgeting and things like that. I think my son believes
we are only hounding him and making it out to be much tougher
and more expensive than it really is. I don't think he has a firm
grasp of what the realities of life are.

At $300 per month for 5 years there will be a nice $18000 plus
whatever interest. (which could be substantial if it were invested
wisely!) What a great advantage to give your child leaving the
nest!! Plus it sends a grand message about saving and investing
over time to the child who will think it through.

Shellie

I love hearing stuff like that.

Joahaeyo wrote:

Wow, L, I can't believe you already have that planned out. What if your kids turn out to be less than athletic and are artsy and want to go to NYU or someplace like that?

barney1 wrote:

Joahaeyo wrote:

Wow, L, I can't believe you already have that planned out. What if your kids turn out to be less than athletic and are artsy and want to go to NYU or someplace like that?

Biting tongue.... I mean... fingers.... :roll:

Well, you don't have to be athletic to go to a military school. I hated sports and couldn't do a pushup when I joined the military. :lol:

If his heart is set on an art school, he can after he spends his first year or two at a community school or he can get a full ride scholarship.

I think kids are influenced a lot by their parents, and he will grow up thinking my school, his dad's school, or other military schools are the only right choices. We can hope.

Esp.. when it comes time to watch college football with daddy!

Military schools and the school I attended (A&M) are known for their traditions. Where I come from (TX), you can go to 1 of 2 schools. You grow up knowing this. It's a strong rivalry. People who didn't grow up like this or attend a school liekt his may not understand. ESPN and many other schools has ranked my school as most spirited and traditions still in practice several times. We're the only school with yell leaders, and outside of military school.. my school is THE BEST alternative due to their CORPS. Most of the people who attend these, have generations and generations of family who have attended.

I think it's a good idea too.

I lived with my parents my first two years of college and then I got married. I didn't pay rent, but I was responsible for paying for my gas, my car payment, insurance, clothes, any extras I wanted, college textbooks ($$). They took care of the groceries, housing, and they paid for my tuition every semester. I was taking 22 semester hours, so I really didn't have much time to work and earn extra money when you include studying/homework time too. I wish they would have charged me a little 'rent' though - then again, it wasn't my choice to live at home. I had picked and been accepted a different college (even had a scholarship lined up), but they made me stay home and attend MSU (I was only 17 at the time).

It was a shock once I got married and had to cover the tuition myself! That's when student loans took over my life... :cry:

Watch out Jo!!!! Little J will grow up to be the next Robert Deniro and go to Juliard! :lol:

Or a rodeo rider :lol:

Jo, having "been there, done that" I can only say to your plans for lil J's education - good luck!!

We had the same intentions for our kids - possibly community college first (for our sake - to save $$), then on to finish their 4 year degree at a state school - again, less expensive for us.

Spencer excelled in academics in school. Community college? "Are you kidding? It would be like going to high school all over again."

Okay - state school. What about Penn State? "NO!!! Too big!" :evil:

So where did he end up going? To a private university in NY - Syracuse. It's a great school and he did get a great education but if it was OUR choice, he wouldn't have gone there. He did get a decent amount of scholarships and he did come out with student loans, but we took the brunt of the cost. :roll:

Sarah IS going to a state school, because she wants to teach and the PA state university system is well known for their excellent teaching curriculum. But her caveat is that she wants to go for her grad degree right after getting her undergrad degree. She understands, though, that any education past 4 years is on her own dime!!

I agree that kids are influenced a great deal by their parents, but they're also influenced by their peers and society in general. Public schools are a HUGE education for them, and not only academically. Our kids were influenced by us too, to a point. They started off believing like us, then they decided they could think for themselves and sometimes disagreed with us. That's okay, though, because we figured they couldn't be dependent on us forever, so this was their start. And at least we knew that the morals we taught them were the basis for anything they do in life. To this day they still quote things back to me, and it amazes me! :lol:

I also agree that basic personal finances should be a mandatory part of their high school education. :!:

Both my kids have had checking/savings accounts since they were about 16 yrs old. They have ATM/debit cards and online access to their accounts. They are always up to date on those accounts. They also have credit cards and for the most part, they use them wisely. Any mistakes they make on them are their responsibility, and they know it. All part of their financial education to the real world.

So, again - good luck with your plans for lil J!

My boys have had their own ATM cards since 13 years old. They have also been investning money since then, and get reports 3/4 times a year on the $20 or so they have made (or lost) :roll:

.

Both started working at 14, but also did tutoring and babysitting before then.

My older boy was totally into drama during high school. He had dreams of acting/singing etc, and applied to several musical arts colleges/universities. We tried to keep him grounded, as altho the drive was there he is much better at acedemics....But we certainly did not want him telling us years down the road that we held him back from anything.

Now he is at university for teaching, whioch he chose, and LOVES it. He finds that some of the other kids are totally stressed becasue they are not used to the independance and have always relied on thier parents, or were not given opportunities to make decisions on their own. He told me that he is SO glad that he was so involved in so many things growing up and he had been left to juggle his own schedule, so now it is so easy for him.

We always felt that we could guide them, and have them experience as much as possible, but it is ultimately thier choice...and we will be there to support that choice. I think that kids need to make decisions the whole time they are growing up, so that they learn how to handle failure, and success. And also to learn that the consequences of thier OWN decisions..At appropriate ages children need to be allowed to make appropriate choices, so they learn how to do that.

My younger boy is in high school and does not appear to be in any rush to leave home, and we will be perfectly happy for him to stay as long as he wants to...but he will also choose what college/university he will go to, not us. That way he will put the effort into it as it will be his choice....and we will support it.
On the other hand he wants to change high schools right now, and we are not allowing him to as we feel that is not a decision that he is old enogh to make....yet..

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