Where can I get some Laffy Taffy Jokes?

How do you mend a broken Jack o' Lantern? -- With a pumpkin patch. Ha!

What goes tick-tock, woof-woof? -- A watchdog.

Where did the kittens go on the class trip -- To the meow-seum.

What do you call a lease of false teeth? -- A dental rental.

Whats brown and sticky? -- A stick.

What did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date? -- "Shore!"

What falls down but never gets hurt -- Snow.

What kind of brush do you use to comb a bee's hair? -- A honey comb!

Why do bees have sticky hair -- They use honeycombs. Hey, no repeats!

How do you get a peanut to laugh? -- You crack it up.

What happens when you cross a singer and a rocking chair? -- You rock to the beat.

Who greets you at a haunted house? -- A host ghost

Why did the farmer bury all his money? -- To make his soil rich

Where can you find an ocean without water? -- On a map - Duh!

What do you call a horse that likes arts & crafts? -- A hobby horse.

Why do shoemakers go to heaven? Because they have good soles.

What do you call an avid gardener? -- Herb.

If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does chicken come from? -- a poul-tree. AAAAAAAAH Make it stop!

What do you get when you cross a grape with a lion? -- A grape nobody picks on.

What did the tree say to the mountain? -- Stop peaking at me.

What are sailors' favorite fruits? -- Naval oranges.

Where does a penguin keep his money? -- In a snow bank. Noooo, please, no more!

What did the boy chip say to the girl chip (crisp for the brits)? -- Lets dance and I'll dip you.

Why did the reporter go into the ice cream wharehouse shop? -- He wanted to get a big scoop.

Why was it hard for the geometry teacher to walk? -- She broke her angle. Oh nooooo, I can't take this!

What do you call a monkey who loves potato chips? -- A chipmonk.

What kind of trees sew? -- Pine trees, they always have needles around.

What did the plate say to the other plate? -- lunch is on me.

What did the man say whin the picture fell on his head? -- I've been framed.

Did you hear about the mummies who went to the theater? -- They gave the actors stage fright.

How do you turn soup into gold? -- add 24 carrots.

What do sneezes wear on their feet? -- ahh-shoes. HELP MEEEEEE

What do wolves say when they are introduced? -- Howl do you do. Sounds like a steak joke to me.

What does a car run on? -- Wheels.

What did the sink say to the water faucet? -- You're a real drip.

Where do pigs park ther cars? -- In a porking lot. LOL

Why did the banana leave the cinema- The film didn't appeal to him.

Why did the little cookie (biscuit) cry? -- Because his mother was a wafer so long. I'm dying here!

Why did the rabbit eat lunch under the sink -- He found a leek there.

How do you make a witch itch? -- Take away her W.

What do you call a crab who plays baseball -- A pinch-hitter.

What is the clumsiest bee? -- A bumbling bee

What kind of bean can't grow? -- A jelly bean

Whats green and fluffy and comes from mars -- A martian mellow. Booo.

How does a man on the moon get his hair cut? -- Eclipse it. Hahaha

What do you do when you have no rubber bands? -- Find a plastic orchestra.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? -- time to get a new fence

What is green, red, and spins at 100 rpm? -- A frog in a blender

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? -- A dead school bus.

Why did the man throw his margarine? -- he wanted to see the butter fly

What did the finger say to the thumb? -- I'm in glove with you. Awwww

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a penguin? -- a very cross penguin.

Of course you have to see the dentist, you have eaten all of that Laffy Taffy